It Happens to the Best of Us

The other day I was linked to from another fabulous web site. It’s called Ihnens.com. I was going to give a run-down on the site’s exclusive content (say it that way and it sounds fishier than it is)…

I say, I was going to.

Then I came across some information that made me pause. Why should I write a plug for the website on Wednesday when the proprietor of that website has a birthday today!?

Happy birthday Heidi!

I understand that it’s a big one for her. I’m not going to say how old she is. It just wouldn’t be gentlemanly. I’m not one for telling tales out of school.

But when I turned 30 it was a big deal for me too.

It’s really not that bad. I mean, I’m going to be 31 at the beginning of August! That seems a lot worse if you ask me. A whole year worse!

I know, a lot of you are saying, “oh, quit bitching! I’m 30something” or “I’m 50something” or “I’m 100something”

Sure, it’s not a big deal for you guys, I mean – you’re old!

But for us young people, it’s a big deal. 30 is a big deal, you can’t be so old that you don’t remember? Come on, I didn’t cry or anything, but it was a milestone – more than a marathon’s worth of milestones!

Here’s the way that I’ve been dealing with it. I just try to put it in perspective. I just think about being 60. 60’s not that old, right? Not anymore. 60’s the new 40, right? That’s what old people say. Hell, when I’m 60, I’ll probably be ready to have my first child. So, in this day and age, what with all the irresponsible teens, for me that would make 60 the new 15. No sweat.

So, 60 – no biggie. But in the time it would take for me to get to 60, I would have to live my entire life over again (give or take a couple months). And while that’s a terrifying thought to say the least, it puts it into perspective.

I just hope that it doesn’t mean that when I’m 45 I’ll be locking myself in the bathroom for 30 minutes at a time.

Yeah, gross to you too.

Anyway, Heidi, I hope this has helped you cope with your birthday, whatever age you happen to be turning today. Just remember:

Age is just a number.

Life begins at 40.

Close cover before striking.


As far as Heidi’s website goes, she produces some really great stuff. With just some papier and some mache, she can make you a Hogwarts castle for your model train. And the windows will even light up!

Or, you can get some custom carvings. Anything you want, she’ll carve it on this thing…it’s like a…well, it’s…you’ll have to check it out. But where else can you get someone to carve a picture of you doing all kinds of weird things? Wrestling with a wizard or eating a thousand hot-dogs or something cool like that!

(And because it's her birthday, I won't be a jerk and make fun of her title bar that says "Ihnen's Model Train Castle Models..." Heidi just wants us to be competely aware that they're only models, not real castles built for model trains or vice-versa.)

Go and visit, her site. She is a supporter of this blog. I need all the supporters I can get just so that I keep drawing the cartoon. If it wasn’t for people like her (and people like you too, the ones who read this crap for some strange and incomprehensible reason) I would have lost all interest long ago! Thanks, people.

Tooo muucch loooovvveee, goooinng tooo bee siick…

Oh, and Heidi, I’ll post a permanent link too.


Fun Fact: I wear a size 10 ½ shoe, but for years I would lie and say I was a size 9. Man it feels good to get that off my chest.

Another thing, the new TAM cartoon is up! ROCK ON! My 26th installment (the archive numbers at the right lie)!

Swamped

Sorry folks, I feel like I’ve been neglecting this blog – which is strange since I just posted on Tuesday!

** Looking to get away? Try looking on Travelocity.com for inexpensive travel fares that fit your budget! You may not want to go to the places that fit your budget, but there happen to be many nice attractions in Saint Paul, Minnesota! Don’t be so judgmental!

Unfortunately, I have a lot of work to do. My movie synopses assignment arrived late this week, so I’m a little behind.

** Incontinence and weak bladder control can be an embarrassing problem. But it doesn’t have to be if you’re well protected. Depends undergarments help you live life the way it ought to be lived. To it’s fullest! (Life, not the diaper.)

But I thought that I should be the first person in the US to congratulate Fantasia for winning American Idol last night. Can’t say that I was surprised. Personally, I think that of all the Idol contestants ever, she has the most unique talent. Not to say that she’s the best singer that show’s ever seen (I would have to give that honor to Latoya London), but at least she’s different. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a good singer too. A really good singer.

** Old Navy has an impressive assortment of classic tees all under $10 a piece! If you’re a man and enjoy wearing colors like lime green and salmon pink – and if you hurry, Old Navy may still have some in your size! Of course, if you wear XXL, it’s always a good time to shop at Old Navy!

But finally, my favorite contestant has won on that dumb show! Kimberly Locke missed out last year. I was pissed.

** Tired of the soaring gas prices? Tired of being afraid that the mafia has planted a bomb in your car? Huffy has just what you need! A wide assortment of stylish bicycles, all for reasonable prices! Don’t support terrorism! Don’t live in constant fear of mob retaliation! Never go to the gas station for anything other than cigarettes again! Buy a Huffy Bike! You could stand to lose the weight anyway, fatty!

Okay, not pissed, I’m just trying to fill up some space. Like they do on American Idol. Is it possible to cram some more commercial breaks into that show?

** Buy Easy Cheese! It’s cheesy and oh so easy! Like me.

Man, that commercial idea really does fill the time! Now if I could only get those sponsors to actually pay me, I’d be so in the pink that you could swear I’d been shopping at Old Navy!


Fun Fact: I knew it! Consumers are morons! Myself included, after all, I buy easy cheese! This story comes from anecdotage.com:

In 1969, on a literary lark, the legendary editor Mike McGrady assembled a group of some twenty writers to create the worst sex novel in publishing history. Though each member of the consortium wrote a chapter independently of the others, the resulting book - Naked Came the Stranger by “Penelope Ash” - promptly became a national bestseller (with more than 100,000 copies in hard cover alone).

McGrady's chief instruction to his team of writers? “There will be an unremitting emphasis on sex. Also, true excellence in writing will be blue-penciled into oblivion.”

Say Uncle!

That’s me. I’m an uncle again.

Don’t congratulate me. I had nothing to do with it. I swear!

My brother Michael and his girlfriend Kelly have had a baby. The Baby’s name is Dylan Michael which means that he’ll either be a poet, a hippie, or a cast member on 90210.

I’m hoping for all three.

Here’s a picture of him. For those who care (always more people than I expect), he was born weighing 7 pounds 9 ounces. He’s all wrapped up. What could be underneath that blanket? Is he hideously deformed?

It turns out that he’s not hideously deformed, he’s just super-cool. He’s wearing his pants low, sporting a wicked Winnie the Poo skull cap, raisin’ the roof, and from the looks of his ankles, has already been to a couple super-hot raves! What a little skater punk homie. Werd, Dylan. Werd.

There is one thing that I noticed though. Now, I’ve never met Kelly, but from the look of the baby, I’m going to have to infer that she’s…purple.

Not that there’s anything wrong with being purple. It’s just that no one in my family is purple. Don’t worry; I’ll still love my little purple nephew. He’s just going to have a hard time picking out clothes.

Here’s a picture of my Brother with his new baby.

World’s dad greatest? A bit of a braggart if you ask me, even if he’s not the most grammatically correct. But from the look on his face in this picture, I can see why they skipped the shirt that said “world’s dad happiest.”

I’m joking, I’m sure that he’s happy enough. Seriously, though, it’s a good thing that my sister and brother are having babies (not together you freaks). As most of you who know me probably already figured out, I ain’t having no babies anytime soon.

It’s not my fault, it’s just that when I was born, they forgot to set my biological clock. It just keeps flashing 12:00. And 12 year olds are too young to have babies.

Congrats Michael and Kelly. Maybe I’ll actually get to WV sometime before Dylan’s college graduation.


Fun Fact: The name Dylan was the 19th most popular name in 2003 according to the Social Security website. It has risen from 86th in 1990. However, the name Robert has fallen on the list from 13th in 1990 to 35th in 2003. Is there no justice?! The names Robb and Tam didn’t even make the top 1000! There are cool names being underused in this world! Snap ‘em up people, before they become too cool and you don’t want them anymore!

Friziday

Hizzle my pizzle!

It's Friday...the new TAM cartoon is up...all is right with the world.

*Editor's note* The above statement does not include all of the things that are wrong with the world.

Have a good two-day weekend, my friends!

TAM


Fun Fact: Tanya wanted me to write about the two dogs that we saw last night on our walk that both stared at us as they pooped in unison. I said I couldn't do it because it would make no sense without a picture (which, thank god, I didn't take). But she insisted that the creepiness of having a dog stare at you while defecating would be a universal experience that people could appreciate without a visual aid. She also stated that the fact that two dogs did it in perfect synchronization would be the comic icing on one hilarious cake. Again, I said “no.” And I will stand by my decision.

Theatre of Cruelty

Yeah, Jasmine Trias is out of the running on American Idol! This is a good thing because I really wanted to watch the finale. I couldn’t subject myself to it if she was going to sing again.

Speaking of cruelty, I’ve caught a few episodes of the WB’s Superstar USA. Actually, I haven’t watched whole episodes, just parts of them. I knew the show was going to be mean, but I had no idea how mean (and frankly, at times, inappropriate).

For those of you who don’t know, the show is a mean-spirited hoax meant to convince bad singers that they are good singers.

Seems a bit redundant if you ask me.

The brutality is mostly directed at the people who actually have some talent. I say “some” because of all the people who were supposed to be good, none of them were actually that good. But they were good enough to not be told that they stink. If American Idol contestants are any indication, I’m sure that the people who were told that they suck will never believe the judges anyway. In this case, I hope it’s true.

Don’t get me wrong though; there are plenty of people who deserve what they get. You know who I’m talking about. They’re the modern marvels of psychological engineering who have found a way to cram two tons of ego, confidence, and arrogance into a package with absolutely no potential. Isn’t that the way it always is? I suppose the void created by the lack of talent must be filled with something, and chutzpah, it seems, is always handy.

Reality TV has become a strange beast. It’s instant tabloid. The show creates a celebrity and then proceeds to knock them down a couple of pegs while at the same time using the show as the obstacle that the new celebrity must overcome in order to rise above itself.

Weird.

I have a new idea for a reality show that incorporates everything that people expect from the genre. Here’s my pitch:


I’ve Been Framed!

Part Punk’d, part Superstar USA, part Law and Order.

Talent is gathered from all over the US to compete in an American Idol type show (no live performances or voting – all pre-taped). The singers are auditioned and are followed through to the final selection. (All totaled, the show will last about 12 episodes. A good run for a reality show.)

Here’s where the show really starts.

Now, the winner of the competition thinks that they’re going to be an instant celebrity. We follow them as they prepare for fame and fortune.

Suddenly, there is a murder (staged of course by the producers). And all evidence points to the winner of the talent competition.

It’s a frame up! And the talent thinks it’s real.

Suddenly, the contestant is thrust into a fight to prove their innocence. Every indiscretion from their previous life is brought to light. They must gather together a defense and battle it out.

They can never win, though. The evidence is too strong.

They lose their case and are sentenced to death by firing squad. They spend a couple weeks on death row with no chance to appeal.

Finally, they are taken into the firing squad where they are fired at with blanks. Everyone has a good laugh and the twist is revealed.

They aren’t going to die! Instead they will win a prize of $1 million! Everybody has another good laugh. The contestant is reunited with his/her family and awaits the $1 million.

In a shocking double twist the prize turns out not to be $1 million, but rather a brand new toaster oven. More laughs.


What a fine idea! It’s been registered so don’t steal it, reality TV jerks.


Fun Fact: If wishes were horses, there would be a lot of mall fountains filled with manure.

TAM Tuesday

Welcome to another TAM Tuesday!

As you can see, the new TAM cartoon is up and running...better go catch it! Enjoy.

TAM


Fun Fact Evidently, a chick kissing a bear is big blogger business. Thanks to Julie, yesterday I had the most hits in one day that I've ever had!

Lions and Tigers and Bears…Oy Vay!

It’s not everyday that you get to go and watch a friend graduate from animal training school. But this is Hollywood, remember. In Hollywood you get to go and watch ferocious looking animals eat raw meat off of sticks! (insert ethnic restaurant joke here)

We went to a place called Hollywood Animals to watch Julie try her luck in a no-holds barred cage match with a Grizzly Bear named BamBam. Don’t let the name of the place fool you, it’s nowhere near Hollywood. It’s out in the middle of the desert hills of LA County (which, of course reminded everyone of what Hollywood must have looked like before Thomas Ince got his hands on it). They call it Hollywood Animals because of the function of the place. They provide “animal actors” to various productions.

I always hate myself when I get around a group of actors that have way more impressive credits than I do. Weezer video…sure, I can jump on some stupid iron platforms too! Do I ever get called to be in music videos?! No! I have a degree damnit! I’ve trained for eight years! I can growl and roar and eat marshmallows! I enjoy eating meat off of sticks!

Sorry, I’m doing it again. I just get so jealous.

It was a good time, like a circus without the creepy clowns. I took a lot of pictures.

We started the day out watching the big cats; a panther, a spotted leopard, a couple Bengal tigers, a white Bengal tiger, and a lion.

The trainers in-training would get up and say a few things about the animal that they were going to present.

I learned; 1) that there are a couple things that perverted white tigers like better than meat on sticks, 2) lions can be pretty juvenile when you comment on their hair color (no thanks, lion, I use toilette paper!), and 3) that Bengal tigers like to act superior while smoking long cigarettes.

Julie got to handle a tiger also. Here they are scrounging for half-smoked cigarette butts.

Then it was Julie’s time to speak. She gave a highly informative presentation on bears. Here’s a transcript:

Blah, blah, blah…Bears. Blah, blah, blah…Bears.

I learned a lot. Thanks Julie.

But just when she was about to start her presentation, the bear attacked!

Don’t worry, Julie eventually got the upper hand. She kept herself alive through complicated animal confusion techniques.

She promised BamBam a belly rub…

She took a cue from classic Bugs Bunny cartoons and raised her baton – thus compelling the bear to perform an aria from Carmen…

She hid marshmallows under BamBam’s stand…

And then she ran around in circles, attempting to run so fast that BamBam would confuse her for a whole gang of animal trainers.

The whole ordeal left BamBam very thirsty. Luckily, there was plenty of Gatorade on hand. Gatorade should be paying Hollywood Animals for this kind of puplicity!

Oh Yeah, there was a monkey too. It also drank Gatorade…and put on funny hats.

And an Elephant that ate an entire watermelon! Here’s a picture of her – not eating a watermelon.

You know, Tanya can eat an entire watermelon also. Although, in Tanya’s defense, she takes the rind off and it usually takes her about a week.

Finally, the long day at Hollywood Animals was over. It was a good time. Thanks again Julie for inviting us -- and for proving that true love can exist between a woman and a bear.

Fun Fact: There is a hot debate going about which bear is the largest on earth. Some say Polar bear, some say Kodiak bear. I say… get a life bear people! No one cares!

Besides, the answer is Polar bear! I have spoken. The Kodiak bear reminds me of chewing tobacco. And I can’t support the spokes-bear for lip cancer!

Dude, Seriously…

The FOX Network has had some pretty lame ideas for reality shows, but this one takes that proverbial cake.

It’s called Seriously, Dude…I’m Gay!

Oh sure, it sounds enlightening. But here’s the shows premise:

Some straight guys go to West Hollywood and try to convince the indigenous population that they’re gay. Wait. They don’t try to convince the West Hollywooders that the West Hollywooders are gay, that would simply be preaching to the choir, they try to convince them that they are gay. I mean…forget it, you know what I mean.

Boy…imagine, trying to convince a bunch of gay men that you are gay!...wouldn’t that be a difficult task?!

It’s hard enough to convince gay men that every historical figure that has ever lived wasn’t gay! Gay men just assume that you’re gay! (I hope I’m not alone here.) Besides, the simple fact that you’re walking around West Hollywood proves that you’re not entirely straight.

Where’s the challenge?! “Dude, seriously…I’m gay.” “Oh yeah…who isn’t?!”

What a stupid idea! I have come up with a couple ideas for FOX reality shows of my own, in the same vein as Seriously, Dude…I’m Gay!

Premise: A group of Iraqis go to the white house to meet President Bush and compete for a million dollars.

Title: By Allah, Western Cowboy Satan…I’m a terrorist!


Premise: A group of reality show producers come to my house to compete for a swift kick in the can.

Title: Excuse Me, Sir…I’m a Moron!

Go here for a list of famous “gay” historical figures. It reminds me of those Mormon posthumous baptisms. “He’s dead? His family’s dead? It’s official…he’s gay! No, seriously, dude! LAMBDA has spoken, amen.”

I’m not picking on anyone here. I’m sure that most of them were actually gay, but come on…My point is that gay men and women are many things but one thing they’re not, is picky about proof.


Fun Fact: My sock almost has a hole in it. At the toe. I’ll keep you posted.

Oh yeah, the new TAM cartoon is up. Sorry about the old joke, I was desperate.

American Idle

Oh man, I should write headlines! I’m so original and inventive!

Enough about me – American Idol is a joke. I would tell you that I’m a joke too for watching the stupid show and actually caring about the outcome. I would also tell you how stupid I am for always being suckered into these asinine reality shows that build up to a promising end only to pull the rug out from under your feet. I would tell you that, but as I said, this post isn’t about me.

Oh, who do I think I’m fooling? All posts are about me! And, frankly, I’m pissed off. And not just a little bit sad.

I’m not crying or anything; after all it’s just a show, right? They all are, right?

Wrong.

American Idol isn’t just a show. It’s a barometer for the tastes of American youth. Sure, maybe not for the disenfranchised youth, but it’s not the disenfranchised youth that I’m worried about. They won’t be shaping the country’s identity – they’re disenfranchised!

What have we done to our children?! (When I say our children, I really mean your children. And when I say “what have we done…” I really mean “what have you done…unless you don’t have children.) Is there no room in show business for talent?

Latoya London, the best singer of the season, was voted off last night. “America has voted…” Not all Americans, Ryan Seacrest. Don’t blame me – I don’t vote. (Incidentally, I’ll be saying the same thing if Bush is elected to a second term. Although, hopefully, I won’t be directing the comment at Ryan Seacrest.)

I blame the teenie-boppers. Stupid teenie-boppers. You would rather vote for a couple un-talented phoney-baloneys like Diana DeGarmo and that Hawaiian chick, Jasmine Trias, who can’t smile with her mouth closed?! What’s the matter with you?!

I use terms like “teenie-bopper” and “phonie-baloney.” I can remember when singers needed to be able to – sing! Not Bob Dylan, of course. But he was a singer/songwriter. Something that I’m sure Jasmine and Diana are in no danger of becoming anytime soon.

Okay, so I was going rail and rant about the state of art in the country nowadays and how nobody seems to mourning it’s loss except for the underpaid few that are actually still creating it, and about how we have become so lazy and distracted lately that we take little time trying to understand new things and so on…

But I have to start working on some synopses.

So, in closing; raise your kids right or suffer their vapid and misguided wrath. Luckily, we’re all so lazy that the wrath should be pretty mild.

Oh, and GO FANTASIA! You’re the only one left with talent and a real personality; don’t let the others drag you down into their world of stagy high school talent shows! I’m just sad that you’ll be leaving the show next week after you’ve been voted off by millions of spoiled white pre-teens who don’t understand why people want to be different.


Fun Fact: To date, my Google pop-up blocker has blocked 2,758 pop-up ads! Now you know! Stop asking me about it!

Blocking Up the Scenery, Breaking My Mind…

Has it come to this?!

I know, it’s just a sign. What you can’t see from my fantabulous picture is that this sign is posted at every entrance of – a parking garage! It’s just recently been hung on the huge apartment building down the street.

What I don’t understand is why the cigarette smoke garners so much attention from this sign? Sure, cigarette smoke is dangerous. Sure. I get it. But, come on California, what about all the carbon monoxide generated from the 40 plus cars that drive in and out of there every day?! I smoke, so I know, cigarette smoke and car exhaust are pretty much the same thing. Delicious!

Look out, there are toxic chemicals in that parking garage!

I think that our tax dollars could be used to warn people of greater dangers than the occasional puff of cigarette smoke amidst smog-and-global-warming-causing SUVs. I’ve come up with a couple warning signs of my own.

You would think that with all the “street cleaning” that goes on in LA, the streets would shine like David Helfgott. You would think so…

Cigarette smoking, nothing! This is how I’m going to die…I’ve seen it in a dream.

I’m joking. Don’t freak out, I’m not clairvoyant, just remarkably intuitive.

When will this end? I hope soon. I can’t take it anymore! Truly, it’s amazing that the human race has survived so long! What did our ancestors do before their government started making signs?

I supposed that they burned to death after biting on hot curling irons or something.


Fun Fact: I’ve been doing some Prop. 65 research and I’ve discovered that it’s an anti “false advertising” initiative. But now environmental groups are using it to warn the public about hazards that they might not be aware of. I.e. “no one told be that this foot powder would cause cancer! Had I known, I would have bought the non-cancer causing foot powder!” or “I was looking for a carbon monoxide-free parking garage! Your advertisement said nothing about carbon monoxide in the parking garage!” These signs usually show up to prevent lawsuits. I suppose that we’ll all have to get used to them. “Hey, McDonalds, you’re fry sign says nothing about salt, and obviously, there is salt on these fries! Lawyer up Mickey D’s!”

Stupid.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

Hello, Mother. I drew you a special Sunday Edition of the TAM cartoon! I figured that’s what you would have wanted.

** Editorial Note: For those of you who don’t know – that last part isn’t a joke. It’s my Mom’s catch-all gift solution for everything. “Why don’t you just draw me a picture?”

Hey mom, what do you want for Christmas?

“Why don’t you just draw me a picture?”

Hey mom, what do you want for your birthday?

“Why don’t you just draw me a picture?”

Hey mom, what do you want for dinner?

“Why don’t you just draw me a…nice try smart-aleck.”


Anyway, happy Mother’s Day, mom! You’re the greatest mom ever!

- Robb


Fun Facts About My Mother: She once had dinner with Ansel Adams, she went whitewater rafting with Henry Winkler, and went shopping with Mr. Rogers. And when I was four, I broke my arm trying to slide down an escalator. I didn’t make it to the hospital until a week later. The nice thing about it is that I can scratch my back without bending my elbow. I hold no grudges about it, but maybe Mom should have spent more time tending to my mangled arm (barely hanging on by one small piece of sinew) and less time hobnobbing with her hoity-toity Hollywood celebrity friends! I’m lucky to have a mother like her – and to still be alive!


On a non-mom related note; special thanks to Vince for smartly suggesting that since the new cartoon will be appearing on Sunday, it should be in color. It only added about three hours of work to the project. And my arm, my mangled once-broken arm, is still sore today! Thanks. Jerk.

Freaky Friday

Not really, unless you freak out easily. Just note that the new TAM cartoon is up!

Freaky!


Fun Fact: Walt Disney made his first little nest egg as an 18-year-old ambulance driver in France in 1919, shortly after the Armistice. Together with a Southern con-man he transformed brand new German military headgear into 'sniper's helmets' by adding fake bullet holes, mud, blood and hair, to be sold as souvenirs. (http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=9282)

That’s not funny. I should have titled this blog “Unfunny Friday.” Because of its unfunniness.

May I please have another cerveza por favor, señor?

Maybe you don’t get commercials for Corona where you are, but it’s Cinco De Mayo. Loosely translated, it means “5 on some mayonnaise.” Yummy. If you like mayonnaise. You know that you really like mayonnaise if you eat it with French fries like the British.

Also, according to my Simpson’s Calendar, it’s Michael Palin’s birthday. Michael Palin, from Monty Python. You know that you really like Michael Palin if you eat him with French fries like the British.


Fun Fact: Don’t be fooled! There is some misinformation on the internet that says that mayonnaise was first invented by a woman named Karen Creamo. Not true! It was in fact invented by the chef of the French Duke de Richelieu after the Duke handed the British their collective asses at the battle of Port Mahon. It was invented for the victory feast and named Mahonnaise (because of the battle, duh). What was that chef’s name?

Who cares, and please don’t fraternize with the help!

¡Necesito alguna mayonesa!

Most bad luck is the misfortune of not being an exception.

-- Mason Cooley

Thanks for that, Mason. Just when I was starting to think that things were going my way.


There was a boy on GMA this morning that one guy labeled “one of the luckiest kids I know.”

The guy that labeled him that was the doctor that had reattached the kid’s skull to his spinal chord after the kid was hit by a car while riding his bike.


Growing up, the luckiest kid I knew had a 4-wheeler.

Maybe the kid that got hit by the car had a bitchin’ bike?


Fun Fact: The new TAM cartoon is up!! Wasn’t that fun?! Okay, I’ll relay an anecdote about Charles Shultz and luck that I blindly searched for on the internet.

"Peanuts" creator Charles M. Schulz's comic vision was inspired by a childhood punctuated by a series of misfortunes and failures. One day the future cartoonist went to see a movie at a theater which had promised chocolate bars to the first 100 children who arrived. Naturally, Schulz was the 101st kid in line. (http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=1412)

If you don’t already know about Anecdotage.com, I highly recommend it.