Say Uncle!

That’s me. I’m an uncle again.

Don’t congratulate me. I had nothing to do with it. I swear!

My brother Michael and his girlfriend Kelly have had a baby. The Baby’s name is Dylan Michael which means that he’ll either be a poet, a hippie, or a cast member on 90210.

I’m hoping for all three.

Here’s a picture of him. For those who care (always more people than I expect), he was born weighing 7 pounds 9 ounces. He’s all wrapped up. What could be underneath that blanket? Is he hideously deformed?

It turns out that he’s not hideously deformed, he’s just super-cool. He’s wearing his pants low, sporting a wicked Winnie the Poo skull cap, raisin’ the roof, and from the looks of his ankles, has already been to a couple super-hot raves! What a little skater punk homie. Werd, Dylan. Werd.

There is one thing that I noticed though. Now, I’ve never met Kelly, but from the look of the baby, I’m going to have to infer that she’s…purple.

Not that there’s anything wrong with being purple. It’s just that no one in my family is purple. Don’t worry; I’ll still love my little purple nephew. He’s just going to have a hard time picking out clothes.

Here’s a picture of my Brother with his new baby.

World’s dad greatest? A bit of a braggart if you ask me, even if he’s not the most grammatically correct. But from the look on his face in this picture, I can see why they skipped the shirt that said “world’s dad happiest.”

I’m joking, I’m sure that he’s happy enough. Seriously, though, it’s a good thing that my sister and brother are having babies (not together you freaks). As most of you who know me probably already figured out, I ain’t having no babies anytime soon.

It’s not my fault, it’s just that when I was born, they forgot to set my biological clock. It just keeps flashing 12:00. And 12 year olds are too young to have babies.

Congrats Michael and Kelly. Maybe I’ll actually get to WV sometime before Dylan’s college graduation.


Fun Fact: The name Dylan was the 19th most popular name in 2003 according to the Social Security website. It has risen from 86th in 1990. However, the name Robert has fallen on the list from 13th in 1990 to 35th in 2003. Is there no justice?! The names Robb and Tam didn’t even make the top 1000! There are cool names being underused in this world! Snap ‘em up people, before they become too cool and you don’t want them anymore!