The Outer Banks of North Carolina have many things to offer tourists but probably the most famous is Kitty Hawk. You know, that place where Orville and Wilbur Wright made their infamous first “powered” flight.
I like Kitty Hawk. I’ve been there a few times. The last time was about 13 years ago. Here’s what it looked like then.
That’s Mike in that picture, not me. He went with me last time. In a completely heterosexual way.
Here’s what it looks like now. It’s pretty much the same angle on this picture as the last one. The only difference is that, this time, my big fat head is taking up the whole frame.
And why is my big fat head taking up the whole frame? Because I was my own camera man that’s why. Tanya didn’t want to run the camera that day. She was in “a mood.” Don’t believe me? Well, here’s a picture of her “mood.”
Pouty.
But she wasn’t pouty all day. Here she is pretending that she can fly simply by putting her arms out. Yes, we were at Kitty Hawk and Tanya was pretending to be an airplane. We were “those” kind of tourists.
Here she is playing patty cake with a statue.
Sure, I had to be my own camera man all day but I still had fun taking goofy pictures. Here’s Tanya pretending to hold the Wright Bros. Memorial in the palm of her hand.
I told you, we were “those” kind of tourists.
And here’s a picture that I took of myself doing the same thing. This kind of picture requires a deft, almost innate knowledge of space and angles. I think I pulled the effect off quite nicely.
All in all, it was a very nice trip to Kitty Hawk and not once did I pester a stranger with the phrase, “Excuse me sir/ma’am, but could you take our picture? Just hit that silver button on top. No…the silver one. It’s the silver one. The…one on top. …It’s the goddamned silver button, you freaking po! Jesus, how did you even manage to make it to Kitty Hawk in the first place?! I hope you don’t have children! By the way, those things that people dig in the dirt are called holes in the ground and that thing that you speak out of is your asshole! …oh wait, the button is red…sorry…my mistake…would you mind taking our picture?”
Not once did I say that to anyone. There was no need. I am a masterful cameraman.
Fun Fact: There wasn’t actually a fight that forced me to be the cameraman for the day. It was just something that we thought would be funny. No, actually the only time that we really fought at Kitty Hawk was when Tanya wanted to run the camera.
I’m a controlling jerk. But I wouldn’t have to be if Tanya would just take pictures that way that I want her to!
Let’s end this post with a picture that Tanya took.
You see?! Do you see how that’s all wrong!!!!
Man.
P.S. This post would have been up a lot sooner today if Blogger wasn’t a stupid, stupid piece of stupid crap!!! That’s a fact.
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