Monday, December 18, 2006

What’s a Bimb to Do?

Sure, while your doing you shopping, your man-boyfriend is probably either playing x-box or screwing the neighbor or screwing the neighbor while playing x-box, but that’s no reason not to give him the perfect Christmas present. It didn’t stop you last year. Or the year before that. But this year is different. Not only will he finally change and become the most perfectest BF evar, you will have found a gift so pure that he’ll even mention it to his buddies the next time they go to Hooters. And, hell, who knows, maybe he’ll even pretend to go to hooters for the wings, just once.

BOD Man “Really Ripped Abs.” Ripped abs in bottle form! Of course they don’t really mean that the bottle contains really ripped abs, that’s just the name of the fragrance. Duh.

What does it smell like? Does it really matter right now? You’ll know soon enough. The delicate applicator dispenses fragrance pints at a time. And it’s easy to use! If your man has ever used a Windex bottle, he can use this. Granted, if your guy needs to apply cologne in this fashion, chances are that he’s never been too close to anything that aids in the cleansing process. His windows are probably smeared with fingerprints and processed cheese of some kind. But that’s okay. It’s easy to teach a man to use a spray bottle. It’s a hell of a lot easier than getting him to stop calling breasts “knockers.” Oh, you know what I’m talking about, ladies.

Men are pigs. But they don’t have to smell like them anymore! Thanks to BOD Men’s line of easy to overuse fragrances. Men can even turn the applicator tip to “stream” for more precise aim in those “hard to reach” areas.

“But will gallons of cologne still smell as strong at the end of the day?” you ask. It used to be that you were never really sure. Before, you would have to go out to dinner or to a movie and count how many people went into sneezing fits, but those days are gone! BOD Man Really Ripped Abs promises that it’s “a fragrance with the staying power of a man.”

Oh, no, don’t worry; they said “a man.” Not, “your man.”

And don’t forget, the spray bottle makes applying fragrance fun! Your guy will think he’s died and gone back to the second grade! Finally, a cologne delivery system designed for the modern, spring-breaking, gold chain-wearing, tattoo-sporting, Emo-hating, average American dude.

Fun Fact: BOD comes in other scents as well! With such variety, there’s something for everyone! Every type of dude can enjoy BOD! There’s BOD Black, it’s “Smooth, potent and smokin’ hot. So beyond what you “or she” has ever smelled before.” There’s “Player,” “X,” “Fresh Guy” (No, it doesn’t smell like a newborn male baby…as far as I know), “Tekno,” “Rock Hard” and more! Every type of man is represented, from the ecstasy-popping young doctor who enjoys a good rave to the ecstasy-popping surfer guy who enjoys a good rave. Everyone!

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