Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Rant by Proxy

So, as you will soon realize, this post is not being written by TAM today. I am filling in for him as repayment for TAM driving my workout clothes to me this morning, effectively making 2 trips to my work (although I would like to point out that I never ASKED him to do this. He's just really nice).
Obviously I owe him one and he decided payment would be me writing his post today. I am going to write this in first person, just to make things easier for me, but let me just preface this by saying I know I am not as funny as he is, so, here goes…

I am in need of a passport. Don't ask why, just know I need one. So, due to The Girlfriends suggestion, I go to AAA to have my passport photo's taken because they only charge $8. Why passport photos are so damn expensive every place else is just beyond me.

So, I drive The Girlfriend to work (which included traffic on Avenue of the Stars being horrific because they closed down TWO LANES for a shoot for a car ad), took off my chauffeur hat and headed to AAA.

AAA is probably the most unexcited part of my day due to the fact that everyone there was actually nice and helpful. Especially since their computer system crashed and they had to do everything the old fashioned way, which meant writing down people's name on a card and handing it off to the next person.

About ½ hour later, photo's in hand, I head home to park the car. Why, you ask? I told you not to ask questions! But, I will tell you that walking to the post office is easier than parking at the post office. So there.

I hoofed it to get there by 10, their posted opening time for the Passport part of the office. On my way, I see my second movie type shoot of the day, right next to Kevin's apartment.

When no one was around by 10:10, the guy in line in front of me asked if they were going to open today. Since Mushmouth answered, the closest I could hear to words was something like "I don't know! It's not open? Maybe 10:30. I don't know." (that sentence should be hear something ala the bad guy in Silence of the Lambs. Only angrier.)

I begin talking to the guy in front of me about how awful this particular Post Office is, how we both try to never come here, but it's better than going downtown to the courthouse and basically how everyone that works here seems to be the last person that should ever work in a customer service type job. A very exciting conversation I know.

I mean, the whole time I was there, they had a line out the door. Not because they were all that busy, but because the Postal Workers would take time between each customer to chat about their lives. NEVER MIND THAT THERE IS A FREAKING LINE OUT THE DOOR. It's WAY more important that they get to share such important things like what they did last night and what they thought of the Super Bowl. I can’t believe the Postal Service can't figure out why people don't mail things anymore.

We continue waiting. Now there are several people in line waiting for the Passport Office to open, which includes:
The guy first in line who happens to be Asian.
A very nice lady with a baby.
A crazy Indian lady that I was sure was going to try and cut in line in front of me
A married Hispanic couple

I can't help feeling I am standing in line in a sitcom.

The passport office FINALLY opens at 10:30, just as I am thinking about walking home. No "sorry we are so late", no explanation as to why we were forced to wait around, no anything. Except the person helping us was obviously sick. Like "hacking all over everything" sick.

Finally it's my turn. Guess what, the post office doesn't take credit cards as payment, EVEN THOUGH THEY SAY ON THEIR WEBSITE THEY DO! Stupid, stupid me for believing anything on a government website. They don't open at 10, they don't take credit cards, they aren't helpful, blah blah blah.

And that was two hours out of my day.

The end.

Fun Fact:
While on my way to the post office, I had a star sighting. I watched walked by the dedication of a new Fire Station and saw Mayor Villaraigosa with a golden shovel. Then, on my way home, I watched someone throw the golden shovel in the trunk of their car. I felt sad for the shovel.

Also, the new TAM cartoon is up. Goldenshoveltastic!!

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