Yes, it’s Tanya’s birthday today. She’s perhaps the coolest chick on the planet. That makes her hard to shop for. What do you get for the coolest chick on the planet?
Personally, I always hate trying to buy presents. I know that there really shouldn’t be all that much pressure. People just like to get gifts. And I like to give them. But, being the egotistical person that I am, I’m not satisfied with giving just any old present. I want to give the kind of present that will really make an impact. The kind of present that can get you written into someone’s last will and testament. And when you’re shopping for your girlfriend it becomes even harder. I mean if Tanya actually had a last will and testament, I’d probably already be in it (my fiendishly clever plan to bilk Tanya out of her millions is almost complete!)
Well, there’s always jewelry. But seeing as how I don’t have any money whatsoever, that’s out of the question. I could make a will and write her in for everything, but I’m left with the same problem. I don’t even have the money to make out a will. Tanya’s inheritance would be “please pay attorney for last will and testament fees.”
So what does a poor man do for his girlfriend on her birthday? Something meaningful. Something…inexpensive.
That’s right, I made Tanya some boudoir photos for her birthday. Just a few pictures of me in the boudoir. (Feel free to say the word “boudoir” over and over again today, it’s a fun word.) They’re private pictures, sure. But I figured that maybe I should share them with you. What’s the internet for, after all? If not to share intimate pictures of yourself in the boudoir? Or an alley? Or bent over a pool table?
Don’t kid yourself, you know it’s been your dream to see me in boudoir photos.
Just scroll down the page a bit, but make sure that if you’re at work, no one is staring over your shoulder. I don’t want my crazy sexiness to get you in trouble with your supervisor.
Here you go:
Now that’s crazy sexy. Those are some nice looking boudoirs.
Happy birthday, Tanya! I’ll show you the real ones later.
Fun Fact: There are no “real ones.” Really. Honestly. I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it.