Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Someone Needs to Replace the Filter

Is there anything more annoying than a “think tank?”

There is. A think tank filled with idiots. What is a think tank full of dummies? A non-think tank? An anti-tank? A moronaquarium?

The Discovery Institute.

A think tank based in Seattle. The same think tank that has been peddling the theory of “intelligent design.” A creation theory that states that mankind didn’t evolve a-la Darwin, but was rather engineered by a higher power. You know, like…God.

Okay, sure. Hey, I don’t believe in god, but who am I to say that we weren’t all just put here as a test for the afterlife. Like a high-stakes game of survivor for your soul. Believe it or not, I’m not here to argue the origins of man.

I’m here to talk about the idiotic staffers at the Discovery Institute.

They came to their conclusion that man was created by an overachieving deity because “man is too complex to have just evolved out of nothing.”

I hate this argument. I get it all the time. Usually from religious types. And oddly enough, it’s a big reason that a lot of people convert to religion. Thus, it’s often used as some kind of catalyst to get me to convert.

“This all can’t just be some cosmic accident, right?”

“The world and its beauty is just too…well…beautiful…and wondrous (don’t forget wondrous), right?”

“If we all just evolved from monkeys, how do you explain just how amazingly advanced and extraordinarily cool we humans are?!”

First of all, there are a lot of assumptions being made here. What’s amazing to me is that we all acknowledge just how immense, mysterious and complicated the universe is. Even Christians. Yet, most of us automatically jump to the conclusion that we are the be all and end all of creation.

Humans rule! We’re so complex!

Why? Because we’re having a hard time figuring ourselves out? If we perceive ourselves to be complex, we must be complex?

We’ve all seen that one guy at a club who thinks he can dance, right? In his mind, he’s ready for freaking Soul Train. But we all know better. We can see that he’s a lousy dancer. Why can we see it, but he can’t? Because we’re not him. We’re on the outside. Our circle of experience is broader than his. We know what good dancing is. We’ve really seen it. And that’s not it.

Plus, we have a better overall picture of what his horrible dancing actually looks like. While he’s focusing on his cool “Egyptian Hands” he’s not paying attention to the fact his walking is nothing like an Egyptian’s.

Same with humanity.

We assume that the world is complex. How the hell would we know? We’re comparing the earth to itself (or a couple, out of trillions, conveniently placed planet neighbors). We’re comparing different living creatures to each other, but all of those living creatures live on the same planet in conditions that, in the grand scheme of things, aren’t all that different from each other.

We assume that mankind is highly evolved. Why? What the hell do we know about it? Sure, we kick ass here on earth. We’re the dominant life form here. But we could be the most pathetic dominant life form in the entire universe for all we know. We could be the most simply assembled too. Our DNA could be the most rudimentary genetic blueprint in the universe.

There could be other planets pointing and sniggering at us behind our backs right now. And their mothers could be slapping them on the back of the head and telling them not to stare because it’s not our fault that we’re this way and that we’re “special” and all that.

Don’t pity us, extraterrestrial jerks! Never pity us!

Sorry, I was getting all worked up there. But my point is that the Discovery Institute made a severe leap of logic in its assumption that the human being is too complex, too remarkable and too advanced to have simply evolved from single-cell organisms. They chose not to think outside of their own narrow realm of being. And what the hell is a think tank for if not to broaden the scope of consciousness? To shift paradigms?

I’m not to say that they’re wrong. They may have stumbled on the answer to life itself…

But if they did, it was completely coincidental.


Fun Fact: Thanks to some inspiration from Jared, I’m thinking about starting a CafePress store. Soon, you may be able to buy some really great TAM merchandise!

I know, I know, it’s a dream come true.

Oh, and the latest TAM Cartoon is up! Buythetee-shirtastic!

And, hey, an added bonus today! Go here (The Buddy Group) and wait for it to load. You can watch Kevin do his thing. And then find the horseshoe on the border of the page and click on it. You'll get to listen to some really jammin' music. Whoever wrote and recorded that song is a genius!

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