Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Another Long Day

Is it just me or does this day feel like the longest one of the entire year?

Okay, I know that it’s not just me. It’s the Summer Solstice! The official beginning of summer and the longest day of the year. I should say that today contains the longest period of daylight of any other day of the year. The day is not actually any longer than any other day since, technically speaking, all days consist of 24 hours, no more, no less…that is, until the wacko scientists take over and start adding leap hours in order to make up for our flawed calendar and keep our global wristwatch synchronized with the rest of the universe. There’s nothing more embarrassing than being invited to an intergalactic event and showing up late because your planet is running a few years slow.

Anyway, it’s the Summer Solstice, a day when hippies everywhere head to the woods to sit in earthen Native American sweat lodges, suck down herbs and beat on drums to honor our earth mother.

Yeah for Summer Solstice.

Personally, my favorite thing about the Summer Solstice is that it’s all downhill from here on our way to autumn. The days can only get shorter. And for those of us who enjoy a long evening, that’s the best news.

Now for some irritating news.

I was watching the Today Show this morning and I saw a girl on there named Brittany McComb. She was the class valedictorian of Foothill High School in Henderson, Nevada. Since she was the class valedictorian, she was planning on giving a speech to the rest of her class about what made her the really smart and successful chick that she turned out to be.

Unfortunately, when she turned her speech over to school officials for review, there were a few problems. The speech had a number of references to God in it. There was one specific instance where she named Jesus as her lord and savior and a reference to God's love being so great that he gave his only son to suffer an excruciated death in order to cover everyone's shortcomings and forge a path to heaven. So the school officials, since they believe in the separation of church and state and said references were “faith specific”, told Brittany that she had to edit those parts of her speech or else she would not be allowed to address the school at graduation.

Brittany agreed.

But was that the end of it? Oh no. Brittany went ahead and said all that stuff anyway. Most of it went unheard however since the school pulled the juice from her microphone. Something they promised they would do if any of the speakers diverged from their approved speeches.

Now Brittany and her parents are hopping mad. They feel as if their right to free speech has been infringed upon (although, it was a school sponsored event and what people need to realize is that, yes, we all have the right to free speech, but we don’t have the right to use anyone else’s forum that we choose to). In fact, they’re so mad that they’re going to sue the school over it. And they’re sure that they’ve got God on their side.

One thing is for certain, they’ve got NBCs Campbell Brown on their side. Campbell was the reporter of the story. She thinks that Brittany is quite the little rebel. A rebel to be admired.

It’s nice to see that “journalists” are unbiased by their own religious beliefs.

I shouldn’t be too hard on Campbell though. After all, this report was on the Today Show. I don’t know what kind of hard-hitting journalism I was expecting.

But I have to tell you. I’m tired of having to deal with the child warriors in God’s army. I would no sooner take financial advice from a 18-year-old than I would take spiritual advice. Even if that 18-year-old was the freaking valedictorian of her graduating class.

When Brittany’s mic was cut off, others in her class booed. And I’m pretty damned sure that they weren’t booing because of infringements of free speech. They were upset that they couldn’t hear one of their own spread the gospel a little. They were upset because the big-bad people at the school were winning. It doesn’t matter what’s right.

Getting back to God’s chosen teenagers. There’s been a lot of press lately about high school students harassing science teachers about evolution and stuff. When I was in high school I can remember many rallies where groups of Christian kids showed up to picket for the right to pray in school.

I guess I’m just getting tired of the kids. I see no difference between the jerkass high school kid who makes his science teacher miserable and those little soldiers you see in third world countries. You know who I’m talking about. Those kids with the AK47s. Those poor little brainwashed children who are out on the front lines to fight for ideals that they can’t possibly comprehend.

And if you tell me that there’s a difference in their idealism, then back it up. Explain to me how the gun toting teens are any different than Brittany McComb. I’m not talking about their methods of expression. Obviously the kids who kill people are much worse. Brittany never killed anyone. I’m talking about their idealism.

I mean, is “brainwashing” only possible if the person that’s doing it has different values from yours?

Let me know.

In the meantime, would obnoxious teenagers just shut the hell up?! And if you refuse to, and if you’re going to continue to be obnoxious, at least say something new.

Fun Fact: You can see Brittany’s interview on the Today Show here. Click on the “Silenced Valedictorian Speaks Out” link (that’s one unbiased headline, baby). Listen to Brittany’s words of wisdom. Her parents are even smarter! I especially like her father’s liberal use of the word “ain’t.”

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