Tuesday, January 17, 2006

My Two (and a Half) Cents

As I have mentioned on the blog before, I’m working on a new project with my producing partners at the moment (by the way, I’ve finished the incidental music for “The Social Club!” Yahoo! (an exclamation, not an endorsement for Yahoo.com although I’m sure they’re good people)) so I’ve been doing some “research.”

I’ve been forcing myself to watch a lot of sitcoms that I wouldn’t normally view. Last night I took a tour of the “old people’s” network, CBS. So I preempted the Golden Globes (although I did click back to them every once in a while, I just don’t really care about the Golden Globes) to watch CBS’s Monday night offerings while still finding plenty of time to reflect on the good works of the late Martin Luther King Jr.

I skipped “The King of Queens.” I mean, why buck a trend? But I did watch “How I Met Your Mother,” “Two and a Half Men” and “Out of Practice.”

Seriously, this was a big deal for me. 2 ½ Men is the highest rated sitcom on TV right now and last night was the first time I actually sat through an entire episode. I did watch the pilots of “Mother” and “Practice” (but that was an accident so I didn’t really pay much attention other than to notice that I didn’t care for either of them) but last night was the first time I actually watched with interest.

Mind you, not because the shows were interesting.

Now all this exposition brings me to a question. What the hell is the appeal of 2 ½ Men?! Really. I want’ someone to explain it to me. My mother has tried, but she watches NCIS and thinks Mark Harmon is “hot.” So I live under the assumption that when it comes to TV…she’s delusional.

So I want someone to explain it to me who isn’t suffering from primetime dementia. If there is such a person, of course. I mean, if you’re arguing for 2 ½ Men then you probably will be automatically ruled out, which leads to another question “how can I ask a question wherein the qualifiers, in regards to the respondent, rules them in and out simultaneously?”

The answer, it’s easy to ask that question. It’s answering it that’s impossible. Welcome to the wonderful world of demographic research.

But, I’m watching 2 ½ Men and the audience is howling with laughter. And yes, I could detect a slight nuance to the laughter. It was pretty much of the same pitch and quality as the laughter one might have heard at a Victor Borge concert. But it was there nonetheless. Old people laughing at sex jokes. Old people laughing at Charlie Sheen.

He used to frequent prostitutes, you know.

And I can accept that. I mean, older people are a little more understanding and forgiving than they’re usually given credit for. But even that forgiveness and understanding can’t explain why the hell anyone would find Charlie Sheen’s character on the show even the remotest bit charming or likeable.

Forget the fact that his lines are not funny and a little mean-spirited, forget the fact that he delivers every line with the nuance of one of those wooden alphabet blocks; his character is just plain...well, plain.

And he was nominated for a Golden Globe!?

But at least I realized that I haven’t been missing anything. It’s always nice to know that while I’m watching “Antiques Roadshow” there isn’t something “cool” happening without me. It’s just the usual poorly-written sex jokes.

I’ll keep my Antiques Roadshow thank you very much, the old people can have their smut.

Fun Fact When I start watching TGIF on ABC, you’ll know that I’ve taken this sitcom research thing way too far.

And there isn’t a new TAM Cartoon today. I was living Dr. King’s dream yesterday (the dream of a three-day-weekend…without racism) so I’m working on it today. Patience.

Oh, and American Idol starts tonight! But there’s also two new episodes of Scrubs on. Decisions…

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