Monday, January 09, 2006

Number 2

As I have mentioned on this blog before, I recently finished filming a short feature, a project that I directed and wrote (The Social Club). But now my fellow producers and I (KATR Pictures) are embarking on our second project. But before we could really start, we needed to do a little research.

Now, I talked a lot of crap about a Christian sitcom called “Pastor Greg.” In fact, I was downright mean in my review of the show (after all, it’s a bad show). But I would gladly sit through an eternity’s worth of Pastor Gregs (and if God actually does exist, I may just have to) rather than be subjected to too much of this. It’s a little something I found while researching.

Go ahead, watch some of it. It’s okay, it’s not porn. It looks like porn. It’s not porn. Porn has slightly more nudity…and better acting and plots.

I know, I know, I’ve just gotten done telling you how bad the show is and now I expect you to go and watch an episode or two. I’m just saying that if you don’t watch this show, you’ll be missing out on a truly unique internet experience. After all it is the world’s “first original network-quality sitcom for the internet.” I’m not making that up. That’s the way they bill themselves. It’s also “simply the funniest show you’ll watch in 2002.” Yes it was made a few years ago. But – and my memory is a bit hazy – I don’t remember television in 2002 sucking so badly.

But what am I, a historian?

Go now. Watch the show. It was created by the son of a guy who was an executive producer on All in the Family (Heywood Kling) and wrote a lot of television, including an episode of the unforgettable cartoon “Help! It’s the Hair Bear Bunch!” Awesome.

Still not convinced?

Here’s the opening excerpt from the first part of the two-part season (and series, I assume) finale “Golf Butt:”

Girl: Hi Q.T. [sic]

Guy: You mean cutie-butt?

Girl: Oh, no, your butt isn’t Q.T [sic] anymore.

Guy: What?!

Girl: It’s un-Q.T. [sic], Q.T. [sic].

Guy: Wha- isn’t my butt the same as it was last week?!

Girl: Nooooo, haven’t you seen what’s happened to your butt?

Guy: (looking) I can’t see my butt!

Girl: (answering an imagined question) Nooooo, last week your butt was round and Q.T. [sic] and this week your butt is flat and un-Q.T. [sic], Q.T. [sic]

Guy: (stepping on line) What ha- What have I done that’s made my butt go flat?!

Girl: Well, um, your [unintelligible] butt must have been hanging around with, uh, flat un-Q.T. [sic] butt.

Guy: Okay, wait, the only thing I’ve been doing lately is playing a lot of golf with – [huge gay gasp] – Justin!

Girl: Aha! (points finger) The king of flat butts!

Hilarious! He, he – he…can’t…see his…ha,ha…own…he,he…butt!

And there’s more! I’m not going to transcribe anymore for you though. I’m not made of iron. Seriously go and check it out. Here’s the Golf Butt Episode. Make sure you at least wait for the (no crap) 5 minute credit sequence! It’s well worth it. Especially to listen to their great theme song (it won some kind of award you know)!

Come on, you got better things to do?

No you don’t, stop lying.

Fun Fact: The above sitcom (who’s name I’m not using) may have billed itself as the “first original network-quality sitcom for the internet.” “But they don’t actually claim to be the first. That title is actually claimed by about three other internet “sitcoms.”

Title of “The world’s first weekly internet sitcom” goes to these guys and their 7-minute shows.

Good work guys! The first weekly internet (really short) sitcom! I see that you’ve taken a cue from network TV and took a hiatus – after three episodes.

Weekly sitcom…

Jesus save me from the morons on the web.

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