Monday, January 30, 2006

Video Ribbed the Video Star

This morning I checked my email and noticed that Kevin had sent me a link to someone else’s blog page where a video he made had been posted – unsolicited.

I’m going to assume that the posting was unsolicited since the blogger referred to Kevin as “Peter.” But who knows? Kevin could be living a double life for all I know. However, I’d hope that if he were, he would have chosen a better nom de plum than Peter. Not that Peter isn’t a fine name, mind you. If your parents named you Peter than sure, be proud.

But it is a name better suited for porn stars and “Bradys.”

As I looked at Kevin’s video, sitting there on that guy’s blog page, I felt a little bad for not posting it here sooner. It took an unobservant stranger to introduce Kevin’s creative child to the blog world. That unobservant stranger should have been me. Not because of Kevin, oh no, screw him, he gets enough attention, it’s because I’m in the video too!

What a wasted opportunity to showcase my fine work. See, most people see me as a jobless slob who sits around at home all day doing nothing particularly worth while. Not true. Sometimes my friends call me with a request to videotape them while they dance around the local park lip-synching to Tori Amos’s rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.”

So there, doubters.

I probably could apply myself to more manly pursuits. But I’m not embarrassed. Well, not now. I was a little at the time. But that’s in the past…and I used to get embarrassed easily. I’m learning to be more secure with who I am. There was time when blasting a Tori Amos Christmas song from an iPod while another man pretended to sing that song from the top of a tree in a public park would have given me pause. But now I can write about that experience while sipping decaffeinated coffee from a mug with a cartoon on it and not feel that my masculinity is at all compromised. I mean, I know who I am. I’m the guy who pulled that dirty cartoon coffee mug from the dishwasher and cleaned it with the same utensil I used to scrub the kitchen window screen last night. All man!

And there are remarkable few bugs in my drink.

And for the record, Tanya was there at the park when the video was made. It’s always good to have a chick around when you’re lip-synching to Tori in public. And it doesn’t hurt to make out with her in front of everyone every once in a while too, just for good measure.

So lets get to the video.

First, let me give the credits since there are none in the video (thanks for nothing, Peter, how am I supposed to put this on my reel?!).

Lip-synching by: Kevin Sage

Cinematography by: The Anthropomorphic Male (Me)

Playback Supervisor: Chez Sarcastica (Tanya)

Directed by: Kevin

Edited by: Kevin

Female Friend (Bench-Sitter): Chez

Male Friend (Bench-Sitter): TAM

Music Performed by: Tori Amos

Awkward Stares and Snickers by: The People in the Park that Day.

Now that the credits are over, let’s start the show. Don't let the fact that it's Christmasy get to you, I know that it's almost February. But who cares?! Don't be one of those people who sais "Oh, I can't listen to Christmas music when it's not Christmas! No. No. No!" But then has no problem eating Halloween candy in March! Hipocrites!

It's a sore spot. Don't be like that. Watch.

“You Tube” is notorious as a place for weirdoes to post their inane crap, but I think that Kevin has proven that when you apply yourself, you can transcend “inane” into the realm of “supremely frivolous.”

I want to make another one.

Fun Fact: The song “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” earned Bing Crosby his fifth gold record.

And thanks to a charitable contribution by St. Lawrence U. alum and lyricist J. Kimball Gannon, every time the song is played, the NY University gets a royalty check.

This means that you could make the College rich if you just kept clicking on the play button above – if royalties were being paid…which they’re not. It’s a parody!

Yeah, a parody.

No comments: