Thursday, April 29, 2004

Just Your Usual Boring Thursday

Except for the fact that the shopping malls that I frequent are on heightened terrorism alerts. Other than that…same old same old.

Hey, terrorists, I know that you read the internet so I need to ask you a quick question; what did the Beverly Center or the Westside Pavilion or the Century City Shopping Center ever do to you?! They are fine malls, leave them alone.

I’m not sure if the Fox Hills Mall was included in the threat or not but it wasn’t mentioned on the national news this morning. Is it because it’s kind of a ghetto mall…elitists!?

But seriously, you chicken crap terrorists, leave my malls the hell alone! There are many good things about those places.

The Old Navy is across the street from the Beverly Center and if anything happens to it – I’ll have nothing to wear. Besides, parking is bad enough as it is. (The Beverly Center mall itself is overpriced crap, there’s a Sanrio store there, and whenever you mix upper-middle class teens with Hello Kitty you get a whole lotta' stupid.)

The Robinsons May is at the Westside Pavilion and it’s the only place in town where I can find cool sunglasses at a reasonable price (even though I went in there once after breaking yet another pair only to be told that they weren’t selling sunglasses because it was winter. Excuse me, what?! We live in freaking Southern California! Have you people looked outside?! It’s always sunny! But in their defense, it was getting down to about 60 degrees at night). And the Suncoast Video there has Little Rascals collections for under ten dollars! That’s just a great buy. (Also, a Sanrio store, but it’s smaller and therefore not so much suck.)

But, you get to see celebrities at the Century City Shopping Center. It’s closer to Rodeo Drive than the Beverly Center. Tanya and I saw Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King with Adam Sandler and his wife. Plus, it’s an outdoor mall so I get to smoke! Do you know what a rarity that is in California? You can’t smoke at the beach, but you can smoke at the Mall in Century City! (Plus, the only Hello Kitty you have to see is on the tiny shirts of the annoying uppity teens who got lost on their way to the Beverly Center one afternoon.)

So go bomb your own malls, jerks.

Fun Fact: Sand is only really good for three things; for building sandcastles, for catching cat poop, and for extinguishing cigarettes. PAN THE BAN! I’ll stop smoking on the beach when cats stop pooping on it!


Sand manufactured at rock crusher plants for use as an aggregate is called "mansand." Which sounds kinda’ like a porn term for something…I don’t know what, but it couldn’t possibly be painless.

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