Wednesday, April 14, 2004

You May Already Be A Weiner

As I look down at the hit counter (below and to the left), I have to wonder...who will be the 2000th visitor?

Could it be you? Or you? Or you?

(Don't look behind you, I was really only talking to you.)

I should probably give out a prize to whoever it is. Okay, here's the deal. If you are the 2000th visitor (and you can prove it), I will give you some kind of prize. I'm not going to say what right now. It will be cash worthless, so don't just keep hitting this page until you're #2000.

Prize will be awarded at my discretion and only at my discretion.

If you got here by mistake or were looking for furr!3 s#xx, you will not win. If you’re a big jerkbag, you will not win. I’m starting to like running this contest. They should let me run the state lottery. The winners would be a lot more deserving, I can tell you that.

Although, now that I think of it, most of the lottery winners that I have seen have been pretty deserving. Has a bank robber or a Wall Street tycoon or a serial killer ever won? I suppose a successful bank robber wouldn’t need to play the lottery…

Anyway, good luck people. But don’t get your hopes up because in all likelihood, the 2000th visitor will be me. I’m my own best customer.

Fun Fact: The three highest multistate Lottery jackpots awarded nationwide were $363 million (split two ways) in Big Game on May 9, 2000, $331 million (split three ways) in Big Game on April 16, 2002, and $314.9 million (one ticket) in Powerball on Dec. 25, 2002. And not one of them has ever killed anyone! What are the odds?!

No comments: