Thursday, May 27, 2004


Sorry folks, I feel like I’ve been neglecting this blog – which is strange since I just posted on Tuesday!

** Looking to get away? Try looking on for inexpensive travel fares that fit your budget! You may not want to go to the places that fit your budget, but there happen to be many nice attractions in Saint Paul, Minnesota! Don’t be so judgmental!

Unfortunately, I have a lot of work to do. My movie synopses assignment arrived late this week, so I’m a little behind.

** Incontinence and weak bladder control can be an embarrassing problem. But it doesn’t have to be if you’re well protected. Depends undergarments help you live life the way it ought to be lived. To it’s fullest! (Life, not the diaper.)

But I thought that I should be the first person in the US to congratulate Fantasia for winning American Idol last night. Can’t say that I was surprised. Personally, I think that of all the Idol contestants ever, she has the most unique talent. Not to say that she’s the best singer that show’s ever seen (I would have to give that honor to Latoya London), but at least she’s different. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a good singer too. A really good singer.

** Old Navy has an impressive assortment of classic tees all under $10 a piece! If you’re a man and enjoy wearing colors like lime green and salmon pink – and if you hurry, Old Navy may still have some in your size! Of course, if you wear XXL, it’s always a good time to shop at Old Navy!

But finally, my favorite contestant has won on that dumb show! Kimberly Locke missed out last year. I was pissed.

** Tired of the soaring gas prices? Tired of being afraid that the mafia has planted a bomb in your car? Huffy has just what you need! A wide assortment of stylish bicycles, all for reasonable prices! Don’t support terrorism! Don’t live in constant fear of mob retaliation! Never go to the gas station for anything other than cigarettes again! Buy a Huffy Bike! You could stand to lose the weight anyway, fatty!

Okay, not pissed, I’m just trying to fill up some space. Like they do on American Idol. Is it possible to cram some more commercial breaks into that show?

** Buy Easy Cheese! It’s cheesy and oh so easy! Like me.

Man, that commercial idea really does fill the time! Now if I could only get those sponsors to actually pay me, I’d be so in the pink that you could swear I’d been shopping at Old Navy!

Fun Fact: I knew it! Consumers are morons! Myself included, after all, I buy easy cheese! This story comes from

In 1969, on a literary lark, the legendary editor Mike McGrady assembled a group of some twenty writers to create the worst sex novel in publishing history. Though each member of the consortium wrote a chapter independently of the others, the resulting book - Naked Came the Stranger by “Penelope Ash” - promptly became a national bestseller (with more than 100,000 copies in hard cover alone).

McGrady's chief instruction to his team of writers? “There will be an unremitting emphasis on sex. Also, true excellence in writing will be blue-penciled into oblivion.”

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