Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Picture Pages, Picture Pages, Time to Get Your Picture Pages

Catchy. Almost makes me want to drug and molest women. Allegedly.

But Little Bill isn’t why I’m here today. No, today is all about me. Isn’t it always? Not that there isn’t any really interesting pop news today.

Condoleeza is being perpetually harassed about whether or not she’s going to make a bid for the White House. I wonder if Punch and Judy got this much pressure?

Former Baywatch “star” Alexandra Paul was arrested for trying to stop General Motors from murdering its entire inventory of leased electric vehicles. GM won’t even sell the cars to the protesters that have gathered outside the killing fields in order to put the kibosh on their evil plans. A plan that seems a little like a vendetta on GMs part if you ask me. “An EV1 killed my pa!” Anyway, now she’s a criminal. I would take the title “electric vehicle advocate” over “former Baywatch star” any day.

A Judge here in California ruled that the state’s ban on gay marriages is unconstitutional. Now he’s being accused of overstepping his bounds. I agree. Interpreting the constitution is best left to the churches. After all, when has any country ever gone wrong by letting the church dictate the law? Damned judges and their “opinions!” And damn the constitution for ensuring equal right for everyone! Jesus didn’t have gays in mind when he drafted the constitution. Civil unions are enough. Separate but equal. Where’s Jim Crow when you need him?!

And Mario Vasquez is no longer on American Idol. He’s out. In more ways than one if you believe the rumors. I don’t understand his decision to drop out of the show. But who really gives a ripe rat’s ass? Not I. Now old Mario’s gotten himself elevated to “frontrunner” status. Now there will be whispers of “if only…” But the fact still remains that he was a really annoying singer with even more annoying headwear…that no straight man would be caught dead in. Unless he was a pimp. Which I’m pretty sure Mario is not. Who knows?

Okay, I’m not going to discuss any of those things. Like I said, I’m here for me. Always for me. I’m here to unveil my latest painting to the world. A painting which has a lot of meaning behind it. A great story, really:

Tanya wanted a new picture for the bathroom. We used to have an Anne Geddes picture hanging in there. A baby was escaping a bathtub! Who wouldn’t want that in their bathroom? A baby!…Crawling out of a bathtub!!

Yeah, me neither. But there was nothing else to put there. We went to IKEA. They have some nice things there at IKEA in the way of prints. But perhaps the best thing they have there is very inexpensive frames. So I decided that I would paint a tiny triptych and we could put it in one of IKEA’s cheap but functional frames.

Which I did.

Okay, that story wasn’t very interesting. Here’s a picture of the painting.

I call it “Off, Off, On.” Oh so clever. You’re welcome. Please feel free to drop by and see it for yourself during posted viewing hours.

But, if I were you, I’d avoid coming in the morning.

Fun Fact: I was inspired to paint light switches because the wall on which the painting hangs has no real light switches. But, in the four years that I’ve lived in this apartment, it has never stopped me from trying to find one there.

I’m a little slow.

Bonus: If you look closely at the photograph of the painting, you’ll see that I didn't adjust for the reflective surface. And I’m wearing a 7UP shirt today!

Extra Bonus: The latest TAM Cartoon is up! Wrappedupstorylinetastic!

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