Cheesy

Cartoons are at it again. They’re poisoning our children with every animated cell. The latest outrage visited on an unsuspecting nation of toddlers is called “Postcards from Buster.”

“Postcards from the sexually deranged” is more like it.

See, Buster is a bunny who travels all over the United States taking a video diary of the interesting people he meets. Then someone, perhaps a human, takes the footage and edits it into a half-hour children’s show for PBS.

Yep, you know it’s bad. It’s PBS. The people who brought us Tinky-Winky the purse-carrying Teletubby and that obviously lesbian, Barbara Streisand-looking “teacher” from the “Magic Schoolbus.”

Well, the smut-mongers at Public Television are at it again. Trying to press their evil manifesto of tolerance and understanding. It turns out that Buster took a little trip to Vermont to watch a little girl make cheese. A little girl with LESBIANS for parents!!

Lesbians!

Now, I don’t know about you, but the last time I saw a video tape of lesbians, they weren’t culturing milk if you catch my drift.

Well, as it turns out, these lesbians weren’t even doing that. Most of the milk-culturing was being done by their “daughter.” The little cheese-making lesbo-in-training. The full-grown lesbians were just welcoming Buster into their home. But that’s enough isn’t it?

Enough to get newly, Bush-appointed Education Secretary Margaret Spellings’ undies in a bunch.

Seriously, sarcasm aside, this lady’s been in “office” since Monday and she’s already uncovered PBS’s sinister plot to gayify American kids? She’s a champ! She’s insisting that PBS give back its government grant money since it’s obvious to everyone that PBS has a problem fulfilling the hate policy of the Bush Administration.

The story was on Good Morning America today. The two women whose home Buster invaded were on the show to defend their lifestyle to the nation. For much needed conflict, and an opposing viewpoint, the producers at GMA also booked a spokesperson from the “Family First Coalition” or something like that. I don’t remember what the organization’s official name was. (There are a couple of them at the moment. It’s a hot topic to save American families these days.) But it was one of those right-wing conservative organizations dedicated to sheltering children from reality. You know what I’m talking about.

So the women come on the show and they play a clip of the “Sugartime!” episode from the Buster cartoon. “Buster” comes through the front door and says hi to everyone. Then he watches as they make some cheese.Or maple syrup or something. I swear they said cheese on the show today. Who knows?

To be fair to the right wing fascists out there, it’s obvious that I didn’t watch the entire show. I don’t know if they talked about being lesbian or anything.

But the lesbians (officially recognized as married in the state of Vermont) talk about how the whole thing is ridiculous. How they’re taxpayers too so why can’t one tiny portion of one stupid show include them. And what do they say to their three children when the government says that their lifestyle is wrong and deviant?

Then the spokesperson opens her mouth. She’s blond and pretty and bubbly and smiling and she says “the government doesn’t say it’s wrong…the majority of the American people do.”

The lesbians almost lost it at that moment. The bubbly bitch from “Screw Your Family, It’s Mine that I’m Thinking Of First” or wherever, was lucky that she was in DC and not in the studio in New York.

She’s also lucky that she wasn’t in my living room. Not that I would have harmed her in any way, but for crissake, what the hell causes people to act like that? And what causes people to listen to that kind of rhetoric and nod “yup, yup, it’s true, gays are inhuman creatures who shouldn’t have rights?”

Have we learned nothing from history? How do we lend credibility to people who spout this kind of hate? We did it to blacks before the civil rights movement. What makes it different now?

How can these people so casually spread hatred and intolerance? They talk about the American family. They talk about values. But what are they teaching their kids? Be a good Christian. Love and forgive. But only those people who think like we do?

How do you stop bullying with thought like that?

“Billy, why were you beating on that poor little girl in the playground!?”

“She had braces, teacher. She’s the only one of us with crooked teeth! And her mom’s gay!”

“Oh, you’re right, let me help you…”

Anyway, the blond supremist in DC goes on to off-handedly say that these kinds of programs “sexualize our children.” Then some other garbage pukes out of her mouth. The lesbian couple latches on to the other garbage and completely ignores the “sexualizing” argument.

But now I wish that I had seen the show. Apparently, if you listen to this lady, there was hot and heavy lesbo action going on. I can appreciate lesbians on many different levels. I’ll stand by them in their fight for equality, but I’m also strangely compelled to watch them make out.

But I’m pretty sure that the lesbians didn’t make out. They probably didn’t even kiss. So here’s what I’m trying to figure out – how is it sexualizing children? Preschoolers aren’t just tiny adults. They don’t think like we do. They don’t know what sex is. They don’t care either. When they see two women living together, they don’t think about the mechanics of their love life. They don’t know to. Sexuality is the last thing on their minds. Do you think that they’re thinking about heterosexual lovemaking when they look at their own parents?

No.

They just want to watch a girl make cheese. And they want an animated rodent to videotape it.


Fun Fact: Sadly, PBS is pulling the episode like the cowardly chumps they are. God forbid someone label PBS “liberal.”

And personally, gays aside, I’m more disturbed by a giant voyeuristic rabbit.


Oh, yeah, and the latest TAM Cartoon is up! Gay-Rabielicious!