Have You Heard?

The Pope has died. Have you heard about this? Evidently, the Pope was some kind of big deal. The leader of some kind of church or something? Anyway, he's dead. I thought you might like to hear it from me first.

Okay, enough sarcasm. Yes, the Pope is dead. I'm actually quite amazed at how much attention it's getting. Almost as much as the Catholic priest child molestation scandals. The whole thing has really pointed up the fickleness of the American media. For the last few years people have been clamoring for the Catholic Church's head on a platter. Now the guy who ran that church has passed away and people are already longing for the "good ol' days."

I liked the Pope, he seemed like a benevolent man. Sure, I didn't agree with most of his politics, but I'm willing to cut him a little slack because…well…the dude was old! I couldn't have expected him to be the most progressive Catholic the world has ever seen.

And now he's gone. You can say anything you want about the Pope, but rest assured he was one devoted Catholic. And people loved the guy. On a trip to Manila in 1995 the Pope offered mass to a crowd of over 4 million!

That's like if the entire population of the city of Los Angeles (and some of their friends) decided one day to all hang out in Griffith Park for a couple hours.

That's a hell of a lot of people in one place. Too many people if you ask me. But it speaks to the Pope's devotees. I can't imagine what people were thinking when they decided to fight the crowds that day just to catch a quick glimpse of the guy.

"Hey, Pedring, are you going to go see the Pope today?"

"How many other people are there going to be there?"

"Oh, about 3,999,999."

"Yeah, sure, but we might want to leave an hour or so early to make sure we get good seats…"

No thanks. I can appreciate the Filipinos' love for their spiritual leader, but there is nothing, short of fleeing an atomic bomb being dropped on the city center, that would make me go anywhere with 4 million other people.

Call me a cynic, but the truth is that I'm just too lazy and I don't like to be bothered.

Even if I were to win tickets to a bebop jazz concert at the Hollywood Bowl in which the original four Beatles, John Coltrane, Charlie Parker and Abraham Lincoln opened for God Himself, all I could think would be "I dunno', I'll bet parking is a bitch."

And, trust me, I would really want to be there just to hear honest Abe's rendition of "A Night in Tunisia."

I wonder who opened for the Pope?


Fun Fact: My dear old mother is coming to town today. She will be here all week. Unfortunately, that means that I'll be neglecting you for a little while. I will try to post as often as I can. But we'll be hitting the greater LA museum circuit, so I might be a little tired.

Don't worry though; a new TAM Cartoon will hit the net tomorrow as usual! Aren't you so glad?