Friday, April 22, 2005


Here’s the world’s coolest chimp.

Soon to be the world’s most irritable chimp. The kind of chimp that will rip the face off of any beatnik that comes within 10 feet of his yellow-stained claws of death.

His name is Charlie. He’s a chimp at the Bloemfontein Zoo in South Africa. And they’re going to make the poor guy quit smoking cold turkey. The zoo keepers are concerned about his health.

They’re obviously not too concerned about Charlie’s chimp roommates, though. Now they’re going to have to put up with Charlie’s uncontrollable rage over stupid things like not being able to find the TV remote.

And they definitely weren’t too concerned about his health when they allowed patrons to throw lit cigarettes into his “habitat.”

Yeah, he picked up the habit from observing zoo-goers’ behavior. And then when the funny monkey started acting like he was smoking like a big-boy, the nice South African chimp-lovers obliged him with real-life cigarettes. Pre-lit, of course.

The stodgy zookeepers wouldn’t give Chuck a Zippo.

But Charlie’s days of being the most rebellious and sophisticated looking chimp in the troop are sadly numbered. I feel your pain brother. I too am being pressured to quit smoking. And I too have always relied on the kindness of strangers throwing lit cigarettes at me.

People are great. So many genuine human beings in the world. It warms my little struggling heart.

Fun Fact: I’m writing again today. That’s why you got a lame post about a cigarette smoking chimpanzee.

And it’s Earth Day today! Hooray! Wear some hemp clothing and recycle your gas-guzzling SUV.

The history of Earth Day is fascinating…and long. You can read about it here. Read all about Senator Gaylord Nelson. Fantastic! Plant a tree! Kick a republican! Plant a kicked republican!

Also, the latest TAM Cartoon is up with an unintentionally apropos message about how humans live in symbiosis with the environment. When modern science is unavailable, you can always rely on the wonders of nature! Peelicious!

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