I mean, slow news day.
Yes, it’s a slow news day. The morning shows were all about the 50 most beautiful people and gigantic airplanes and other useless crap.
Now, if you’re a plane lover, I’m sorry that I called the new Airbus SuperJumbo Jet “useless crap.” I’m sure that it will change the way we love.
But it’s good that it’s a sloe gin fizz…damnit. Slow news day. Slow news day. Because I have to get some writing done. And I’m already distracted by my gay hair. Yeah, I have gay hair. Last night I tried to put in some highlights…
I look like I should be shopping for a loft in West Hollywood. I’m practically blond. Which is weird for me. I’ve never been blond before. And I won’t be again for a while after tonight. Sorry you. You’ll never see it.
But now I have to go. I have an uncontrollable urge to dance to some *Nsync and sip on a nice refreshing, top shelf, slow news day.
Fun Fact: Rob Thomas’ debut solo album has risen to the top of the charts. It’s surpassed anything he released with Matchbox 20. He claims that his former bandmates are happy for him.
Yeah, sure they are. I’ll bet they took one listen to the new album and said to themselves, “Man, what a great album! It’s a good thing he went solo for this one and completely cut us out of any profits, we could never have wrapped our little minds around such groundbreaking music. Bravo Robby!”
Here’s the recipe for a Sloe Gin Fizz:
1 oz sloe gin
1 oz gin
¾ oz fresh lemon juice
1 oz simple syrup
3 - 4 oz soda water
Here’s the recipe for a Slow News Day:
1 oz Smoking Chimp
1 oz Buffalo on Tennis Court
1,000,000 lbs Super Jumbo Jet
¾ oz Gay Hair
2 Useless Recipes