I Would Like to Spank the Academy

This is it!

I’ve finally hit the big time! My Blog is now, finally, linked to from another Blog. My friend from high school (and community college), Mike, has done the service of recruiting new readers for me. Hopefully, anyway. That is not to say that I don’t love my faithful few. Without you there would be no Blog. I feel that in the short time that I have known you all we’ve really gotten to make a connection. I don’t usually feel this way about people so quickly. I don’t know, but there could be real feelings here. You know, I’m just a guy from Washington and I don’t usually get to have these kind of experiences, you know. You know, um, it’s just so…you know…and I…I don’t know. You know?

I watched Average Joe Hawaii last night and I think it’s really getting to me…you know?

Now, Mike has written a few stories about me on his Blog, and he’s written them pretty well. Maybe I should return the favor? But, what to write about? He’s already told the story about the time that we killed a man in Montana. He’s also told the story about the time that we got scammed out of ten bucks from a streetwise con-man named Leslie K. Noone. Although, calling ol’ Leslie “street wise” is a little romantic. I mean, how hard could it be to take ten dollars from a couple idiots like us (at the time, at the time we were idiots. Not like now. Mike’s not an idiot now and I am very not a idiot now). In fact, he would no longer, ever, even think of shooting his ex-girlfriend in the back with a BB gun.

I suppose that I could tell you about the “Dramtelda traveling head tour?” It was terrifying. Or the constant toilet papering? Or our dreams of becoming feature filmmakers with the powerful epics of the “Doors II,” or “Marsupial Park?” Or, the time we found the creepy “Red Pumps of the Ghost of The Island that I forgot the name of in the Tri-Cities?” Or “Boomastick?” Or regale you with the powerful ups and downs of the first, and only, season of “Band Buddy Baseball?” (Man, I was a geek…was, was a geek. I am very not a geek now)

I will link to his site, once he teaches me how to do that. (See, I told you I'm not a geek.)

I’m beginning to alienate my readers. Besides, my memory is so damned bad that the stories would make no sense at all. However, if you feel like you have to know any of them, I could give them a shot. Or, read Mike’s Blog every now and again, I’m sure he’ll get to ‘em.

This was a dumb post, I have to tell you. Sorry. I will post something else later, as soon as I think of something to say. But, at least it wasn’t angry, right? I kept my cool even with Anna Nicole Smith’s vacuous vapidity wasting space on my television. Albeit, a little less space lately. Damn, and I was hoping that she’d have a heart attack.

Here’s an Idea! If anybody needs advice…on anything, let me know and I can help. I will turn my Blog into a public service. Just for you. Tanya thinks it’s a weird idea, but my advice to her is…oh, yeah?!


Fun Fact: My TV has a 26 inch screen and closed captioning when it’s on mute. Discuss.