Sunday, February 29, 2004

Jump for Joy!!! Wait, I meant, "Leap...for joy!" Dangit, it's not funny anymore.

Hey, hey! It’s leap day! Created as a gift from me (TAM) to you (someone, not me).

No, that’s silly. I didn’t invent leap day, I’m just the first person to talk about it…EVER!

But, as I’ve stated, it’s Leap Day! You know what that means, don’t you? It means that we have one more extra special day in this already extraly special year! Let me list the specialness for you so that you can actually count your blessings on this holiest of days.

Peace be with you Leap Day, The Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory are yours now and forever. Amen.

This Blessed Day means that Black History Month is a little longer than it’s usually pathetic 28 days and,for the first time in four years, is a respectable 29, so you have more opportunity to learn about John Brown, apperantly who’s body lies a’rottin’ in the grave!

Now, if you’ve jumped to the conclusion that the extra day is a part of some kind of “Reparations” deal or you don’t know who John Brown is then you could use this extra day to it’s full advantage!

February 29th also means that wacko children of the earth nut-jobs will be pushing for a 30 day per month calendar. They theorize that the governments of the world keep us on the “get behind and catch-up,” antiquated form of calendaring, in order to make us tired and obedient. They hope to see their "perfect" months so as to bring all of humanity into a harmonious relationship with the universe! Check it out how goofy the French can be!

Yet another perk to this day is the humor that it brings. Middle aged people born on this day will be receiving hilariously funny joke gifts and cards intended for ten year olds! My sides are splitting just thinking about that! No, really, they’re splitting...! Maybe I should see a doctor?!

But, perhaps the most important meaning of this extra day is that hard working stiffs everywhere will pick up an extra day of pay! (Don’t be confused by the fact that it’s Sunday today, there’s still an extra work day in there somewhere for you lucky enough to have the weekends off). This means that we can cope a lot easier with the poor state of the economy or maybe we can afford one small portion of the astronomical cost of competent health care or we can put it in into savings in lieu of the Social Security money that we’ll never see again! Now, if only I weren’t unemployed that might mean something (it means nothing to you suckers on salary either).

Man, now I’ve brought everyone down.

To cheer back up, just think about a longer Black History Month or the 30 day calendar or those…he he he…joke gifts…he ha ha! My sides are splitting again! Ha ha ha! So much blood…

Happy Leap Day!!!


Fun Fact: Contrary to what some people may tell you, I never cheat at table-top shuffle board! God, I’m a good person.


1 comment:

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