Friday, July 01, 2005


A good word, “dogged.” But it’s only really when I’m house-sitting that I truly appreciate the full meaning of it. When it’s 6:00 in the morning and there’s an incessant yelping coming from the back door. When the damned dog wants to be let back into the house and can’t walk up the steps without a lift. When I would really just rather keep sleeping.

How do you hit the snooze button on a Labrador?

My days have been shot to hell this week. It’s amazing how little you can get done when your job becomes “to keep the dog company.” I suppose that I could take some project over to the house with me. But then I would miss out on catching up on my cable watching. And it’s important to catch up on your cable watching. I don’t have cable here. It’s too expensive. And I can’t tell you how many sleepless nights I’ve had wondering what they were programming on the Food Network this summer.

So, in short, that’s why there hasn’t been a new cartoon in a while (well that and the two plays I’m rehearsing for right now). And there won’t be one today either. Sorry. But have no fear, the TAM Cartoon will return next week!

In the meantime – you probably already know what I’m going to suggest – why don’t you visit the TAM Cartoon archives! No really. Why don’t you visit the TAM Cartoon archives? Did the Cartoon archive do something to you? Did it say something derogatory about your grandma’s excessive amount of neck skin?

In fairness to the TAM Cartoon archive, it didn’t know you were standing right there. It would have never said something so insensitive had it known you could hear it.

But try to find it in your heart to forgive, and visit the TAM Cartoon archive anyway. And while you’re there, if it happens to mention the nauseating smell that comes from your mom’s feet, just try to ignore it.

Fun Fact: A lot of people have pets because they have some insatiable deep seeded need to take care of something. And they claim that pets are easier to care for than children.

To those psychological dysfunctionals, I say “no.”

Kids are easier to care for than pets. Because, sure, it may take a few years, but eventually, you’ll be able to explain to them why you won’t let them back into the house until you’ve gotten enough sleep.

And once they can talk, a kid will be able to tell you when they need to go out to the back yard to poop.

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