Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Allow me to introduce you…Readers, Wednesday…Wednesday, Readers.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, permit me to pontificate a little.



Okay, so I have nothing to say. But I have been remiss in mentioning that I shot a short film this past weekend. So, why don’t I mention it now?

I shot a short film this past weekend.

It’s another film from Adam Hodge. Why don’t I write a synopsis, seeing as how I’m a professional synopses writer and all? The film is entitled ‘Captive.’ I play a small role at the beginning of the movie. Tanya really enjoys rehashing that old hackneyed phrase every time I “joke” about how small my part is, “there are no small parts, only small actors.”

Now, as an actor, I have to say that I would personally like to give a knuckle sandwich to the “actor” that first coined that phrase. I would say something wry as I did it too. Something like, “how about some kraft services, biatch!” And then I’d lay them out. I could do it too, that’s a pretty old phrase and the person that coined it would have to be at least 70 by now.

Truth is, there are plenty of small parts. Just ask about 85% of SAG members, they’ll tell you. Also, I hate to mention it, but I’m a small actor. Not physically. But where does that leave me? I’ll tell you where, on the cutting room floor, that’s where.

I’m kidding, Adam won’t cut my part. It’s too crucial. Okay, not crucial, but he better not cut it anyway. The lunch wagon is pulling onto the set and my right fist is the soup de jour!

Enough patter, here’s that synopses of Adam Hodge’s latest film, ‘Captive.’

Scott [Slabbody] (TAM) was getting ready for another day filled with power-lunches and celebrities. Once again, his secretary Rebecca was late with important papers. Her child had been kidnapped and murdered by a mysterious madman. But Scott’s lunch with Marcus couldn’t wait. Now the deranged killer Ethan has his sights set on Rebecca blah blah blah, but more importantly, she’ll have to find something “nice” to wear for Scott’s meeting with the Harrington people in this gruesome thriller from Adam Hodge.

You get the general idea. Besides, it’s the first 2 ½ minutes that’s the most important. I even gave myself an appropriate last name. It’s an editorial choice. I think it works. If Adam didn’t want me to give myself a last name, he should have done it for me! Yeah, where’s the “no small parts…” speech now?!

To be fair, I don’t think that anyone in the script has a last name. I don’t really know. See, I haven’t actually read the whole thing. I mean, who’s got the time?

But it was a good experience. I really enjoyed it. It’s nice to have a small part that isn’t too dramatic, that doesn’t require too much concentration on my part. After all, isn’t that what acting is all about? Doing as little as possible? It’s my mantra. “As little as possible.” I try to follow that with my career as well. So far, I’ve stuck to it! Yeah me!

Anyway, as I said a second ago, the shoot was a hoot. Woot! Adam’s a nice guy and he always has the nicest people working for him. They’re always the same people, but they’ve somehow managed to stay very nice.

I guess that’s it. I’m anxious to get my synopses writing assignment out of the way today. I’m working on another song for the Christmas album and I actually kind of like it. Always a plus.

Have a good hump day. He he he…hump.

Fun Fact: I’m enjoying my new scents from Bath and Body Works but they make me sneeze. However, pumpkin sneezes are just a little slice of heaven.

Oh, and Mom, I don’t just bake a pumpkin pie because an actual pumpkin pie contains at least 12 more calories than the scented spray. So I’m going to stick with the aerosol can, even if the real pie tastes a whole lot better.

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