Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Get Lost

The Anthropomorphic Recording Studio is running full steam these days. That’s why I’ve been neglecting this blog a little. Well, that and the fact that I’ve got nothing to really talk about.

But everything’s been going well with the latest album (in stores…never). Lucky for me, Tosha and Jared have hooked me up with a snare drum and a cello. No self respecting Christmas album can do without a snare drum and a cello. But it just so happens that I play neither of them. I’ve been learning as I go. Now, I don’t know how many of you have ever tried to learn the snare drum or the cello in a day, but let me tell you, the drum is a hell of a lot easier.

But I’ve been holding my own. I’m not ready to audition for the LA Philharmonic or anything, but I’ve been holding my own. I’m sure that, as is the case with the guitar, I’ve taught myself wrong. But really, who cares. It’s a freaking Christmas album. You can’t be too judgmental about a Christmas album. It wouldn’t be in keeping with the spirit of the season. However, I did decide to forgo any trumpet playing on this album, I don’t want to push my luck. Besides, I don’t want the neighbors to think that I’m running a cat abattoir out of my apartment during the day. They already have to hear my horrible saxophone noise. And I’ve played that since I was 10 (that’s 21 years! Math makes me feel old).

There’s an update of the album progress. Maybe I’ll post some pictures of me playing the cello like a bass. Good stuff. That’s way better than some stupid album. Me playing the cello like a bass. Merry Christmas.

Again, with nothing really to say, here’s my thoughts on prime time television.

Lost is the best show on TV (not counting the Simpsons). It’s time you all just got comfortable with that. Luckily the shows ratings are such that it won’t befall the same fate as my former favorite show on TV, Last Comic Standing (NBC is run by morons).

Lost is well written, ably acted and expertly shot. Plus it has an old-school premise which means that it has classic appeal. Very nice. Watch it tonight.

The second best drama on TV is a bit of a tear jerker. It’s about a small circle that feels sad, hides in a cave and can’t even draw pleasure from the most beautiful things in nature such as butterflies. However, it has a happy ending. He takes mood altering drugs, ventures out of the cave and finds some circle-guy friends. Oh, and that butterfly, he’s as good as pinned through the heart on a piece of cardboard!

My vote for the worst thing on television is that Lamisil anti-nail fungus commercial. What could make a pharmaceutical company feel that if they nauseate their audience, they’ll sell more product? Digger the Dermatophyte needs to be given the pink slip. As far as I’m concerned (as a person without a fungus problem) Digger’s lifted his last toenail.


Fun Fact: I was looking for the best selling Christmas album of all time, man am I disappointed. As I said earlier, I’m a saxophone player, so I’m not just a little horrified to learn the Kenny G’s “Miracles – The Holiday Album” takes the title.

Kenny G?! Hasn’t anyone ever listened to Nat King Cole?! Or Bing Crosby?! Hell, even if you’re not a fan, Mel Torme’s albums kick the hell out of Kenny G! And what about the Charlie Brown Christmas Album…?!

I think I’m going to be sick.

I also learned another tidbit of info, Christina Aguilera’s “My Kind of Christmas” was the third best-selling Christmas album of 2002. But come on, there’s good reason for that. It’s the absolute perfect blend of celebratory holiday joy…and vagina.

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