I’m a busy man today. No time for a long post or even an interesting one. Instead, here are some alternative names for which to call elbows:
Elby Bones (If you’re a Simpsons fan)
Deadly Weapons (If you’re Jackie Chan)
Funny Bone Holders
Deadly Razor Sharp Knives of Pain (Only applies to Tanya while she’s sleeping)
Fun Fact: I had a very pleasant walk this morning. The nice thing about the cold weather (besides the fact that I can wear more clothes, layering them one on top of the other until not an inch of my pathetically shameful body is in view of humanity’s burning, prying and judgmental eyes…Woah. I think I now owe this blog about $80 an hour!)…
As I was saying, the nice thing about cold weather is that the sun becomes your friend again, delicately caressing you with comforting warmth instead of being a hateful despot, smiting you with pointy rays of suffocating hell-heat.
I think I have an unhealthy relationship with weather. I let it torture me and beat me down until I have no hope for the world, but then I come crawling back to it’s rhetoric filled with broken promises and empty lies.
Okay, blog, $150 an hour.