Wednesday, October 13, 2004

I’m Going to Get Well if it Kills Me!

As most of you know, there’s a shortage of flu vaccine this year. Now, to me, a shortage of flu vaccine is about as troubling as a shortage of chitterlings. No thanks. I’ve never gotten a flu shot in my life and I think I’ve had the flu maybe once. And I’m certain that instance was before the flu shot was invented.

But there are a lot of you out there who insist on getting the shot. Personally, all of the people that I’ve known who have gotten the flu vaccine got sick. I’m not sure if it’s the flu or just a reaction to the vaccine, but they invariably get sick. I think that I’ll play the odds and not get the shot. Even if it is the miracle cure that it promises to be, I still won’t get it. It’s a shot. I don’t voluntarily get those. Not ever.

Anyway, the story is all over the news. Drug suppliers are price gouging, healthy not-at-risk adults are stealing the vaccine practically from the arms of kids and old people and everyone is just generally going crazy. It’s like an old run on the bank. I think that psychologically people need it more this year just because there’s so precious little of it. That’s what I think. What do I know? I also think that no one will notice if I wear the same shirt all week.

But on the news, as the news people are inclined to do, they showed a bunch of old people and children standing in long lines for the vaccine outside of clinics and hospitals. It’s like these people are camping out for Rolling Stones concert tickets or something (their ages are appropriate). They’ve got lawn chairs and blankets and stuff. They look tired and frustrated. Seriously though, I hope that these people actually get the vaccine, they’re definitely gambling on that.

What’s with these people? They’re placing a lot of faith in that little shot. They have to be. What else would make someone with practically no immune system stand on the sidewalk for 8 hours in the middle of October?!


I take it back. No vaccines for these people. Their reckless disregard for their own health makes them unworthy of such a “super-duper” miracle cure.

Even if that cure doesn’t actually work.

Fun Fact: BET is retarded. It’s a fact.

Okay, let me clarify. BET is not retarded, but they’re not making a very good case for themselves. They pulled Eminem’s video lambasting Michael Jackson just because Mike asked them to. Now I’m not a Michael Jackson fan. I’ve never been. And I’m no Eminem fan either. I’m not that white. But this incident smacks a little of reverse discrimination.

I could be wrong. I hope I’m wrong. After all, BET is one of the last safe harbors for jazz musicians. They should keep that up. But they shouldn’t overreact just because some stupid kid makes fun of Michael Jackson. Lame.

Michael also asked MTV to pull the Eminem video. They replied “What’s a video?”

My god, I'm original.

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