Friday, December 24, 2004

Merry Christmas (Tomorrow)

I won’t be posting tomorrow, so I thought that I would spread some Christmas joy today. So, here you go! Christmas joy! Tons and tons of Christmas joy.

It’s tough not being with the family at Christmas. Mostly because you get your Christmas presents from them in the mail. The presents always arrive before Christmas. The sender’s not around to make sure you don’t open them early. That’s willpower. Not opening your Christmas presents before Christmas even though no one would ever know if you did.

I would like to thank my mom for all her fantastic presents. I didn’t open them yet. But my mother packed them all in popcorn. Actual popcorn. I suppose that’s how they did it in the olden days. Back before they invented Styrofoam. Fed-Ex had to air-ship everything in popcorn.

But popcorn makes a nice mess. I tried to keep the stuff off the floor. I did a fairly good job. But she also sent bows. Those little pre-made bows with the sticky stuff on the back. Luckily, the stickers weren’t exposed. But it was a painstaking process trying to get the popcorn out from the inside of all the bows. (Yeah, sure, we could throw away the bows. But they’re free bows! And we’re not made of bows here, people!)

Packing presents in popcorn combines two of my favorite things; clever, inexpensive packaging ideas and the imminent threat of an ant infestation.

The popcorn idea smacks suspiciously of Martha Stewart. I don’t know if it was hers or not but it sound like something she would tell people to do. I should just be glad that mom didn’t wrap the presents in orange jump suits.

Oh, ha, ha, ha! I’m so clever! Orange jump suits! Because…she’s…in jail…ha, ha!

Merry Christmas Martha Stewart.

Thanks, mom, for the presents. And thank you for not buttering the popcorn.

Fun Fact: The new TAM Cartoon is up.

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