Thursday, August 26, 2004

In a Family Way

In a Family Way

I’m still waiting for pictures of my new nephew…niece? So now all of you have to just keep waiting. And don’t forget to hold your breath!

There’s not a heck of a lot new going on around here. I know, you’re shocked! No, it’s true. Yes, it is. Yes it is! Look, I don’t want to argue about this…no…yes…YOU ARE! Come on, there’s no need for that kind of language. I mean it.

Really, I could go on like this all day. It takes up a lot of post space. But I’ll stop acting stupid for the time being. Besides, I hate it when we fight. I do. I really do. What? Oh, yeah?! No…you’re right, I said that I would stop acting stupid. I’ll start…


We went to Costco last night. How’s that for excitement?! Actually, it was kind of exciting – well, for a geek like me anyway.

As most of you know, it’s only August. But I was greeted with perhaps the biggest surprise of yesterday when I stepped into Costco.

They had Christmas stuff!

Complain all you want about starting the holiday too soon, it just made my little day I tell you. I love Christmas. I love Christmas stuff. The only thing I hate about the Christmas season is Christmas Day. Only because it’s the furthest day away from the next Christmas season.

Don’t get that way. They didn’t have too much Christmas stuff. Just four things really, but they were big and covered in lights. Perfect. Although I couldn’t convince Tanya that we needed a fake topiary filled with Christmas lights I did get a little something, an Italian folding floor easel – with a drawer – filled with paints! Merry early Christmas to me, say I.

But the easel isn’t just for me; I want Tanya to start using it. I’ll even let her have the free canvas that came with it. Then maybe she’ll become a famous painter, traveling the world to share her gift, all the while giving me huge rolls of one thousand dollar bills. Sweet.

No I wouldn’t use her like that. I’m sure that eventually I would become so embittered and jealous of her success that my alcohol bloated corpse would ultimately turn up under a pile of newspaper clippings.

It’s a win-win for just about everybody. Yeah Christmas!

Fun Fact: Speaking of bloated corpses, Fox has been running episodes of the Family Guy to gear up for the show’s triumphant return to television. All of you Seth McFarland fans drool with antici…pation.

I’ve never really watched the Family Guy. Yeah, I’ve seen a couple episodes here and there, but I never followed the series or anything. But, I tell you, watching the re-runs of the show on Fox, I can say that I now know why.

At the risk of enraging the entire internet geek community, I’m going to say that the Family Guy is just about the most insipid show ever put on TV. Sure, it has its funny moments, even “laugh out loud” some of them. But it’s a dumb show. It’s pretty gross; I can accept that, I like gross things, fried grits and sloppy Joes to name a couple. It’s not the gross-out humor that bugs me. It’s the fact that the show is just so damned…dumb.

I’d rather watch a cartoon show written by me. And that’s pretty dumb. I could write Family Guy style jokes:

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…penis!

Flashback to me talking about Seth McFarland…poop on Delta Burke!

Bring it on internet geeks! I probably deserve it for being old and crotchety.

And we’ve busted the 6000th visitor mark.

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