Hooked

That’s right, it’s Election Day, don’t think that just because it’s all over every media outlet in the US that I’m going to let you all off the hook. I don’t have anything else to blog about.

I just hope that the right man wins. That right man is John Kerry by the way. I was going to try and spare you all my personal political beliefs, but I can’t help myself. Like Leo DiCaprio. Only hopefully less annoying.

I just don’t understand how anyone could put Bush back into the White House. Most people claim that they’re thinking about national security. See, this is the diabolical genius of the Republicans; they’ve got half of the country convinced that the United States will somehow sink into the sea if Kerry is elected president.

How did they do this? How is the question even being raised? Because Bush led us through the terrorist attacks of September 11th? What else was he going to do? Nothing? (I suppose he could have, but then we wouldn’t be talking about his possible reelection now.)

To all of you Bush supporters out there: what did Bush do exactly to help us through the attacks? Reassure us? Become the counselor to the nation?

“He went after the terrorists!”

When?

What he did was attack Iraq, granted a terrorist sympathizer, to send a message to other terrorists that the US would not tolerate terrorist sympathizers. So we attacked the people who didn’t attack us in order to get our point across. Sounds familiar to me.

And then Bush and his puppeteers tell the country that if we don’t reelect him, we’ll all be killed by terrorists. Odd.

Odd, because it just may work. Odd and sad.

I’m not like a lot of Democrats out there; I actually believe that Kerry will make a good president. To me, he’s not just the lesser of two evils. I believe in him more than I did in Gore. I like to have my leaders show a little humanity.

Sure Kerry’s rich. What do you expect? A poor man has absolutely no chance of ever being elected president.

People also call Kerry an opportunistic flip-flopper. That’s asinine. Things change. Opinions change. People change. I used to hate chocolate. I like chocolate now. I don’t see it as a character flaw. I believed in and supported the Iraq war also. I don’t now. Not because it’s popular. It seemed like a good idea at the time. We were wrong.

Believe it or not, there are actually social issues involved in this election. Really important ones. The stupid Iraq war and “national security” are overshadowing them. But it’s painfully obvious that Supreme Court Justices William Rehnquist and John Stevens aren’t going to last forever. It’s like the “Pelican Brief” only Staley Tucci’s character is replaced by extreme old age.

It’s a funny thing about the Republicans, they say that they’re for smaller government. Less governmental control over people. But that’s only when money’s concerned. I don’t understand how the Republicans and Democrats can be so different fiscally and domestically. Democrats want to “help” you spend your money, but they would never tell you how to govern your spiritual life. Republicans are the exact opposite.

Republicans treat environmental groups as special interests but the Christian church as the benevolent protectors of society.

I suppose that when it comes down to choosing whether or not to vote Republican or Democrat you have to boil it down to one thing: are you more concerned with protecting your rights and the rights of others or are you more interested in protecting your wallet and moral supremacy?

I doubt that I’ll ever make enough money to make me vote Republican, but if you do, good for you, vote for Bush. And hey maybe someday as I’m mucking out you stables I can call you “Lord” or “Lady” something-or-other? Wouldn’t that be cool?!

Oh, just one more thing. I have another question for you not-wealthy Bush voters. As you sit in your humble home, wondering if that pain in your chest is heart trouble and not knowing if you’ll ever be able to have it checked by a doctor, what makes you vote the way you do? Is it that Bush is a charismatic “leader?” Is the extra $50 a year in tax relief worth it to you not to have health care? When you were paying into Social Security, did you shrug and think of it as some kind of huge slot machine? Or do you just feel safer with him in office? And if so, is it because Bush did such a bang-up job protecting us the first time? Or are you thinking WWJD?

I’m just trying to understand.

Man this is annoying. I’ve become what I hate…Leonardo DiCaprio!


Fun Fact: The apolitical TAM Cartoon is up! Yeah, no more preaching! Unless we lose the election, and then only if you count incessant naggy bitching as preaching.

Go VOTE!

Oh, and the Electoral College should be protected. How’s that for last minute controversy?