Friday, November 12, 2004

Stick it to the (Cave) Man

As most of you probably already know, in the state of Georgia there is quite a fuss about some dumb stickers.

Some parents signed a petition to place stickers that say that “evolution is a theory, not a fact” on public school science books. I needn’t say that they’re religious types. They want creationism to be taught as well. You know, to sorta’ give the “other” side of the story.

Their fight has made it to a federal court.

But here’s what really bugs me. They claim that religion isn’t their motivating factor. They say that they’re just trying to show that creation and evolution is a subject that is up for debate. They want the science books to illustrate that. But they say that they’re not just doing it because of their unwavering belief in divine creationism.

Give me a break. Just fess up to it for chrissake. “Darwinistic” evolution is a threat to religion. Just say it. It ain’t no thing. Hell, I’m not Christian and even I’ll agree with that. I also agree that if you want to maintain your hold on the beliefs of the American people that you should attack the theory of evolution in schools.

What I don’t understand is why Christians are so damned threatened by other beliefs in the first place. They’re not alone. Most major religions are threatened by other religions and beliefs. I don’t get that either, especially when they all seem to have pretty much the same ideas of human morality. It would seem to me that there are other, more powerful and probably monetary, motivating factors at work at the higher levels. It’s true (or at least used to be true) of the Catholics. But they’re obvious about it. The Vatican didn’t build itself people.

Neither did Oral Roberts University (not Catholic).

This time, the religious groups are going about their fight in the right way though. You have to admire that. They finally figured out that if you want to get the support of the public you have to look like you’re being inclusive. Very “civil rights” of them.

Problem is, they’re not being inclusive. And if I thought that it wouldn’t screw up the education of thousands of innocent kids with dumb parents, I’d say “let’s give ‘em what they’re asking for!”

Let’s teach scientific evolution and creationism side by side (that would be interesting, you have to admit). But let’s not leave anyone out people.

L. Ron Hubbard has some rather…interesting thoughts on the subject of creationism. So do the “flying saucer” folk. I’m not saying that we should let every whacked out theory be introduced into the class. I promise that only actual alien abductees would be allowed to contribute. If not abductees, then at least the ones who have space alien friends. There are a few.

But then we should talk about Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Voodoo, and Native American religions. There are hundreds of them. In fact, which Christian creationism should be taught? What about dinosaurs? Cavemen? The Beatles?

Rediculous. Look, the point is that it’s a freaking science class! They teach science. And ironic as it may be that a group of people who base their entire existence on “faith” should be arguing about “proof,” this is a dumb argument. Just from the practical aspect that if schools get involved in the church business, the churchies will just find themselves in a much bigger battle over whose religion is the right religion for our public classrooms.


But you know what? I say go for it. Let them put those stickers on public textbooks. But to be fair, you have to let us evolutionists come to your churches and put similar stickers on your bibles...

“God may not actually exist.”

Chill out, it’s just a sticker.

Fun Fact: More Christmas album stuff. In order to inspire more interest in it, I’ve decided to release the names of two songs that will appear on it.

Swingin’ Christmas

Santa’s Comin’

Provocative, no? Really though, it’s not that kind of album. It’s much more innocent than these two titles would suggest. I even though about letting the spell checker rename that second song. But then I would have to change the lyrics. It could be all about Santa’s experience with Indian food.

Santa’s Cumin

Next year maybe?

Oh, and of course, the latest TAM Cartoon is up! Spicy!

No comments: