Thursday, June 17, 2004

Back in La La

Man, it’s already Thursday. I really didn’t mean to neglect this blog for so long. Sorry.

The trip to Washington State was a good one. Went to my sister’s wedding, visited Tanya’s family, and snuck in to the Central Washington University Theatre Arts Department without being detected.

There’s nothing more annoying than visiting your Alma matter and actually seeing people.

The wedding included two ministers. Well, a Shaman and a minister. Luckily, it still went quickly. I don’t know about you all, but lately, every time I go to a wedding, I end up with a sore back. I keep telling them that I don’t want to be videographer. No one listens. You can’t say no. After all, if you spent the money to cross the country and attend the wedding in the first place, chances are that you genuinely care about the people in it.

My identity's protected

I will never understand these people who attend weddings for the ceremony of it all. If you’re really craving ceremony, just develop OCD.

Singing the “Star Spangled Banner” every time you crack open a Diet Pepsi should take care of it.

My gift to you.

Speaking of gifts (you like the transition). My sister and her new husband got a few. Most of which weren’t on her registry. Why register in the first place?

“I did what you asked and went ahead and registered. Now you don’t have to guess what we would like.”

“Where did you register?”

“Crate and Barrel.”

“…oh…I wasn’t planning on going to Crate and Barrel. But there’s a Sears near my house…”

Lazy gift givers. Just do what I do and don’t buy anything! Just my presence is gift enough, I figure. Oh, and love. Presence and love.

And good wishes for the future.

Presence, love, and good wishes for the future…My problem is that I give too much.

It’s a funny thing about wedding presents though. They’re almost practical:

You need some glasses? How about these 100% lead-free crystal goblets?

Looking for bowls? Here’s a two gallon etched glass punchbowl.

How about a few 300-thread-count cloth napkins?

And really, who doesn’t need a silver-plated serving dish with matching candlesticks?

Sure, they’re all really nice. But, they’re not exactly things that can use in your daily life.

Although, it would be nice to be the envy of the neighborhood while drinking Kool-Aid out of crystal by candlelight.

And I have always wanted to see if I could eat three boxes of Frosted Flakes in one sitting.

I brought this up to my mother and she just said that “wedding presents are supposed to be something that you would never buy for yourself.”

This is one of the reasons that I’ll never get married. With my luck, I’d end up getting a subscription to Parenting Magazine and a huge box of tampons.

And I would never buy Parenting Magazine.

Fun Fact: Diet-wise, the trip was pretty successful. I didn’t sit around and snack every day. I ate sensibly.

The first day back in LA was another story.

It was Tosha’s birthday yesterday (I won’t say how old she is, but when I turn 31 in August, I’ll be two years older than her). So we were invited to dinner at Maggiano’s over at the Grove.

I haven’t eaten that much food in a long time. Too much of a good thing is still too much.

I’ve always wondered exactly how much food I eat when I eat too much, and yesterday I got my answer. In order to check the damage that the vacation caused, I weighed myself yesterday about an hour before we went to the restaurant. I was fat, sure, but I hadn’t gained any weight in WA. Yeah!

Anyway, I shuffle in after Maggiano’s and I heft myself onto the scale. I wasn’t feeling very good, I have to tell you. I should have had more self-control at dinner.

I ate six pounds of food!

I should have stopped at three.

BTW, go to TOS today and check out the cartoons. Nice job Brandon. My lawyers will be contacting you shortly.

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