My shoes are green so stay away from me with your lecherously sadistic pinching fingers!
Since St. Patty’s day is not about a dude drowning Irish snakes or homogenizing Ireland by converting Druids to Christianity, but is rather a tribute to the color green, I have composed a little still-life photograph for the occasion.
This picture may look like I just ran around the apartment and indiscriminately picked out green things to take a picture of, but let me assure you…that’s exactly what I did.
I left my shoes out of it because, honestly, no one needs to see those ugly things two days in a row.
Here it is:
The Callously Celtic Cornucopia…a Monochromatic Fantasia in Green
I was going to call it:
Ode to the Lonely Nights of an Artistic, Romantic, Nicotine Addicted, Drunken, Italian Phone Sex Operator with a Frog Fetish, A Penchant for Absurdist Theatre, and a Sunburn
But I thought that title was a little long.
Photographer’s Note: None of the “girly” things in the picture are Mine. Unless you think Parmesan Cheese is “girly.” Do you? ‘Cause I can get rid of it.
Fun Fact: The Leprechaun is an Irish fairy. He looks like a small, old man (about 2 feet tall), often dressed like a shoemaker, with a cocked hat and a leather apron. Incidentally, the same could be said about Oscar Wilde and Colin Farrell.