Erin, Wear a Bra!

Let me be the first Blogger on the internet to say, Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

My shoes are green so stay away from me with your lecherously sadistic pinching fingers!

Since St. Patty’s day is not about a dude drowning Irish snakes or homogenizing Ireland by converting Druids to Christianity, but is rather a tribute to the color green, I have composed a little still-life photograph for the occasion.

This picture may look like I just ran around the apartment and indiscriminately picked out green things to take a picture of, but let me assure you…that’s exactly what I did.

I left my shoes out of it because, honestly, no one needs to see those ugly things two days in a row.

Here it is:

The Callously Celtic Cornucopia…a Monochromatic Fantasia in Green

I was going to call it:

Ode to the Lonely Nights of an Artistic, Romantic, Nicotine Addicted, Drunken, Italian Phone Sex Operator with a Frog Fetish, A Penchant for Absurdist Theatre, and a Sunburn

But I thought that title was a little long.

Photographer’s Note: None of the “girly” things in the picture are Mine. Unless you think Parmesan Cheese is “girly.” Do you? ‘Cause I can get rid of it.


Fun Fact: The Leprechaun is an Irish fairy. He looks like a small, old man (about 2 feet tall), often dressed like a shoemaker, with a cocked hat and a leather apron. Incidentally, the same could be said about Oscar Wilde and Colin Farrell.