Wednesday, March 24, 2004

My Life in a Nutshell - or - Too Much Work, Too Little Meat

By meat, I mean substance. Ha, ha, you had your laugh.

Been slow to post today, but that’s because I have a job!

Sort of.

I am writing movie synopses for “a big online DVD rental company” who shall not be named because I don’t want them to find this, causing me to lose my new found job.

Don’t worry, this freelance writing gig is only temporary, so I should be back to my usual unemployed self in no time. At least I hope. I mean, I’m not writing the great American novel here or anything.

I know, I know. At least it’s some money, right?

Wrong! I was unemployed for a reason, dangit!

The synopses are 450 characters long (or less, incl. spaces). Mine are exceptionally good. Look for them if you are a member of “a big online DVD rental company.” Some of my favorites include Chinese Ghost Story 3, Dil To Pagal Hai, and the anime hit Wicked City (the one where the demon woman has fangs on her genitals).

I am getting better at this type of writing though. It’s fascinating. Here is my morning in example mode:

TAM’s Breakfast

TAM (Tam) thought that he was above the mundane commonality of everyday life. That is, until he woke up one day – hungry. At first, he didn’t know what to make, but with some encouraging words from his girlfriend (Tanya) he had turkey bacon and egg substitute frying on the stove in this quirky comedy directed by Hunger (Naked Lunch, My Dinner with Andre).

TAM’s Walk

In this, the sequel to TAM’s Breakfast, TAM (Tam) is back and this time he is prowling the streets. His once quiet life is transformed as he ventures out of the safety of his apartment and witnesses other people living their lives around him. TAM is forced to come to grips with the fact that he is not the center of the universe in this poignant drama directed by Habitual Behavior (Nose Picking, Alias) and costarring a bunch of other people.

TAM’s Workout

A prequel to TAM’s Breakfast, this film closes out the TAM trilogy. TAM (Tam) is woken one morning by the sound of his girlfriend’s (Tanya) alarm clock. It’s a struggle even to get out of bed, but that’s just the beginning as the two fight for the right to use cross-trainers that may be the death of them both. TV’s are on closed captions in this action-packed drama from director, Shame of Self Image (Paris Hilton, My Eighth Grade Year).

Fun Fact: Tanya likes to sabotage my Blog posting. She keeps calling to tell me about what other bloggers are writing! Oooohhh, they're soooo funny aren’t they! Mimi Smartypants…Mimi Smartypants…why don’t you just marry Mimi Smartypants! I just feel so used.

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