Friday, March 19, 2004

Get The Lead Out!

A public service announcement for all of my Mexican readers. You know who you are.

It seems that a popular Mexican “candy” bar is being recalled due to toxic amounts of lead.

It’s called “Chaca Chaca,” here is a picture:

Looks like the Chaca Chaca Train is hauling another load of “Crap Candy” up “Crap Candy Mountain.”

I’m sure this recall is no real big loss to the candy community. I can’t imagine that children will be opening their lunchboxes in Mexico today and saying “¡Qué? ¡Ninguna pulpa de la manzana y el polvo del chili? ¡Cómo obtendré jamás yo mi dulce en?!”

That is, of course, assuming that Mexican children have lunchboxes. Or lunches.

What?! I’m not being insensitive. It’s a third world country, you know. They’re poor down there. And if the government keeps allowing candy makers to poison their youth with lead, there will be no escape from their bleak status. Lead poisoning can cause learning disabilities and behavioral disorders, don’t you know.

Chaca Chaca, contrary to what the name leads you to believe, is not made is made from anything even resembling chocolate. The name of the candy bar comes from the sound that a train makes. The logo came from the fact that the Choco Choco sound comes from a train. And the circular logic in regards to the candy naming/logo picking debacle is to distract you from the fact that it is made out of apple pulp and chili powder!

I’m more of a “kiwi fruit and oregano” man myself.

Something tells me that if the ingredients weren’t enough to keep people from eating this, then a little lead poisoning won’t hurt sales much either. Perhaps it’s the lead that causes the children to consume such a nasty product? They just can’t learn that it sucks each and every time that they eat it? I can understand that. I mean, I have the same problem every time I think that I want to eat at Jack in the Box.

The company that makes this “candy” also makes “Fruit Salted Plum Suckers.”


I never did understand why certain kids at my school walked around all day sucking on Lemon Salt. Candy is supposed to be sweet, you backwards weirdos!

Multiculturalism ROCKS!

Read a review of this (and other) “candy” from people who have actually tried it.

Fun Fact: Mexico City is sinking at a rate of 6 to 8 inches a year because it's built on top of an underground reservoir. Wells are drawing out more and more water for the city's growing population of more than 15 million people? And yet, I will not make any jokes about too many people living in one apartment?

No comments: