Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Spelling Has Never Been My Strong Suite.

I meant "soot."

Another “Super Tuesday” has come and gone here in fabulous Los Angeles and I didn’t get a single Super Tuesday present! Where were the Tuesday lights and the Tuesday trees?! What happened to the Tuesday Nog or the Tuesday Cakes?

All in all, it wasn’t the holiday I remember from my childhood.

Perhaps I’m thinking of something else.

I was going to write a nice essay about the state of the election but then I realized that I have no idea what’s going on in this state. However, there was one thing that made me stop and think though.

Proposition 55, a bond of $12.3 billion to improve the state schools, seems to have lost. But we (the California voters) did approve a 15 billion dollar deficit bond to help us bail out of the extreme debt that we now find ourselves in.

Here’s where I’m a bit puzzled: What happens when schools need repairs? Are we going to incorporate it into the curriculum? Will there be classes like “spackling and painting” instead of shop? Or could school children find themselves taking a class titled, “Mixing and Pouring Concrete: Strong foundations mean stronger futures?”

Don’t get me wrong, the idea of watching 10 year olds applying stucco, or grouting tile, does make me chuckle. I think it’s funny. Mostly because I hate kids.

Wait…wait, don’t judge me yet. Of course I don’t hate individual children. It’s children in general as an ever present ravaging plague on society that I hate.

So why am I worried about the quality of their schools? That’s a good question. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t care if some plaster fell on their empty heads as they slept through algebra, it might knock some manners into them. But, unfortunately, society as a whole doesn’t feel the same as I do.

(Or do they? After all, they didn’t give those snot-noses any money)

Someday though, some plaster, or a brick, or a gymnasium (sorry, I’m daydreaming) will fall on someone’s head. Or maybe a parent will actually visit their children’s school and see the state of things. And then what will happen? Well, I’ll tell you. Holy Hell will be raised, that’s what. Foul-weather advocacy groups and the PTA will cry for improved schools (not that it isn’t what their doing now). And since there is direct risk to our precious kiddies, the government will be forced to deal with it. I mean, come on, the schools aren’t going to just heal themselves now are they? But that would be real cool. And kind of creepy.

”But how?” You ask, “how will they get the funds since the bond didn’t pass?”

Man, do you ask all the right questions.

The government will fix the problem with money from the state’s budget which will then have to be paid back with help from the $15 billion deficit bond.

And they’ll do it too because Governor Schwarzenegger is all about the chilluns, isn’t he. That’s what he said in his campaign and I’m sure that he still means it.

People always bitch about politicians and their sneaky handling of the state money and yet they won’t vote for a bond that can only be used for one thing (unless I’m missing the fine print) and instead vote for handing money to those same politicians and saying, “here, you know what to do with this more than I do.”

It’s enough to make me want to sing the opening song from The Lion King.

If I actually worked and paid taxes, it would really bug me a little.

Fun Fact: If you whip dishwashing soap with a whisk it will start to look like whipped cream but, believe me, that’s where the similarities end.

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