Thursday, March 04, 2004

Fur is Murder

Not really true, is it? I mean, how can a noun be a verb? Unless you’re talking about words like the word “jump.” You can jump and you can have a jump (to jump off of). But then they aren’t fully equated to each other, are they? Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that “furriers are murderers” or “fur is the byproduct of a murder…”

This isn’t really the point of this post, so let me move on or I will be stuck on this all day.

This blog hasn’t been around for very long so it was a big thing for me when it first appeared on Google. I searched for “Anthropomorphic Male,” (without the quotes) and there I was, at the top of the page! The first link! This would for sure bring plenty of traffic to my little site here! However, as I scrolled down the rest of the list, I soon found that I was in…well, I’ll just say…dubious company.

Now, don’t be alarmed, but it seems that the rumors are true, there is indeed pornon the internet!

And I have found myself in a category that I had not quite anticipated. Evidently the term “Anthropomorphic” has some more…ribald…connotations than I was aware of. I figured that I was being clever. I never thought that anyone in the internet porn conspiracy would even know that word. Let’s face it, internet porn Barons aren’t all exactly as savvy as Hugh Hefner. So now I find myself getting hits from interesting Google searches.

I suppose it’s partly my fault. If I wasn’t such an elitist in thinking that there are too many stupid people on the net (none of you included) and if I hadn’t written about same-sex marriages - I wouldn’t be in this situation.

I’m not going to go into detail about exactly what it is that I’m talking about because, although I’m already listed first on Google in this catagory, I don’t want to fuel that fire.

But now I feel like I have to write a disclaimer:

Welcome to all of you who have landed on this site looking for an interesting anthropomorphic carnal experience,

This isn’t what you expected, was it? No one is dressed in fuzzy costumes and the cartoon isn’t probably what you were searching for either. I apologize. If you would just hit the “back” button on your browser, you will be taken to a fantastic listing of sites that offer just what you were longing for.

But, please, feel free to stay and look around if you’d like. I’m not too judgmental. If you feel urges to get it on with foxy chicks or dudes that, coincidentally, just happen to look strangely like actual foxes, then I say go for it. Whatever makes your coat thick and shiny, I say.

Thanks again for visiting. And, again, I’m sorry that I couldn’t be of more…assistance.


For the rest of my friends who are faithful readers and had no idea that this site had any connection (unintentional as it is) to the seedy underbelly of the net - let’s just forget that I ever wrote this and never speak of it again.

P.S. If you search Google using quotation marks you’ll be spared a lot of porn. Unless, of course, that’s what you’re looking for.

Also, TAM the cartoon will be updated tomorrow! I’ve decide to make it “buy-weekly.” (spelled wrong on purpose to avoid getting Google hits from “curious” men looking for an online Zine).

Fun Fact: They say that locker rooms smell like body odor, but I secretly suspect that it’s the other way around.

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