My face has been cut off to protect my identity. That, and to make my neck look long and luxurious.
The name “love beads” for a children’s candy is creepy, sure, but what’s creepier is that it was given to me by “Johnny.” He had a whole bunch of them in his car one day. He told me why, but I can’t remember.
Refresh my memory, Johnny; why were you driving around LA giving “love beads” to other dudes?
I felt special but then he gave one to Tanya too. He’s so indiscriminate.
I’ve protected her chin’s identity.
But thank you, Johnny. Thank you for feeling confident enough to give a brother some “love beads.”
Fun Fact: All that’s left of the “love beads” is a thin elastic string, some dried slobber, and traces of FD&C Yellow #5 and #6.